A New Legendary
by Adam El Tablawy
Summary: When a human is trapped in the hall of origin by an unknown power, the pages of the book of chaos begin to turn. Assigned by the alpha pokemon himself to protect the chosen one, he finds himself on a hillarious, insane journey. At the same time, the forces of darkness begin to show themselves... What exactly IS missingno.? My first fanfiction. Rating may increase or decrease.
1. Chapter 1

"And as you know, with recent events in reflection we must take utmost caution in protecting our realm from the menace of corrupted homo sapiens, and…" Mewtwo drawled on, much to the irritation of the other assembled legends.

It was another of Mewtwo's infamous speeches, or what Raikou referred to as "knockout pills." Raikou had gone as far as to bring a pillow to the meeting, and was currently snoring away, oblivious to the envious glares he was receiving from the other legends, each and every one wishing they could fall asleep.

Darkrai briefly contemplated giving him a nightmare, but the glare Arceus gave him quickly dispelled all notions of the idea from his head.

It was another normal, boring assembly at the hall of origin, and the bright white surroundings did nothing to dispell the boredom that was in the air. Each and every legendary, even Arceus and Uxie, was wishing desperately for something, ANYTHING to wake them up.

They got that wish, quite suddenly, in the form of a screaming human boy plummeting through the stained glass windows, face planting into a desk and rolling comically until he collided with the wall.

"…I did not expect that. And considering who I am, that is saying something." Uxie said in a monotone voice.

Adam sat up, rubbing his head and groaning painfully. That impact certainly hurt a lot. He opened his eyes, and thought that it must have done more damage than he had originally thought, as he was now in a shining white room filled with legendary pokemon. In fact, there were quite a few. His eyes grew to almost comical proportions as he realized that every single legendary pokemon in the universe was sitting there, staring at him. He quietly tried to inch away unnoticed, but failed miserably as the lump of light he was currently resting on evaporated and he fell to the floor with a painful thump. Raikou and Entei snickered, while Suicune rolled her eyes.

"Um…Ex…excuse me, w-where am I?" He asked, intimidated by the many stares he was receiving.

"Oh, nowhere, just the palace of arceus." Mew said, carefree as usual.

"Oh, Okay. I thought for a second that-" he paused for a second as what Mew said sank in. "Pal..PALACE OF ARCEUS?" He yelled in disbelief.

Mew burst out laughing at Adam's expression. Zapdos silenced her with a glare. Sometimes, the master of thunder could be more unsettling than an angry Cresselia and Giratina, Combined.

"Yes, you have currently….landed in the hall of origin, suspended within space and time. May I ask what you are doing here, human?" Rayquaza thundered.  
Most of the younger legendaries chuckled quietly at the description Rayquaza had given. Landed was an understatement of galactic proportions.

"Quite honestly, I have no idea how I ended up here. I was walking for a bit, then I saw this lake and decided to fish. I reeled a magikarp in, and it slapped me in the face, I fell in the lake and then all I remember is a lot of yelling, light, a crash and then I woke up here." Adam explained.  
Rayquaza looked puzzled as to this turn of events. Adam understood, he was quite confused himself.

Mewtwo, recovering from his earlier shock, stood up and stated: "Well, as fascinating this turn of events is, and I leave you no doubt that I will conduct a full investigation into this matter, I must resume our discussion that was so rudely interrupted. As such, I find it fitting to utili-"  
"Mewie wants to send you down again." Mew barged in, sparing them all from another boring speech from the gene cat pokemon. Mewtwo's eye twitched at mew's name for him. Adam sighed in relief, part of it due to this bizarre experience being over, and the other part being due to Mewtwo shutting up. Adam was starting to feel himself lapse into unconciousness again when Mewtwo's voice started it's monotone speech.

"Alright. Thank you. Send me back down, please." Adam said, somewhat calmer now that his head stopped pounding. Mewtwo snapped his fingers and Adam shimmered for a moment, then disappeared. He then cleared his throat, and was about to start his speech again when Adam reappeared, screaming and falling through the same window. He slammed into the wall with even more force than before, making the legendaries wince.

"Why…" Adam groaned.

"I ask myself the same question." Azelf said, puzzled by this turn of events.

**And with that, we draw this chapter to a close. I hope it wasn't too boring for you guys. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been several days since Adam showed up at the hall of origin, and no one could seem to send him back down. They tried, however. Every time they sent him down, he came back up with even more force, eventually culminating in him slamming into groudon between the eyes with the force of a tidal wave and knocking him out. After the laughter subsided and they managed to stop Kyogre from drawing profanities on his face, they decided to attempt to send him down in a different way than teleporting. However, this did not go as planned.

"Alright…One, two…three…GO!" The legendaries chanted. Registeel wound up and chucked Adam out of the hall of origins, only for him to boomerang back in a moment later and smash into Registeel, sending him flying, smashing into Regice, Regirock, and Regigigas and sandwiching them all into a painful, bleeping mess. In Adam's case the bleeping was not the work of digital robotic communication.

The next attempt was by Rayqaza, He burst out of the hall door made for his departure, Adam clinging to his tail, holding on for dear life. Rayquaza seemed to slow down for a moment and he raised his head….Then shot straight downward at a speed to rival the Eon pokemon. This was a huge, huge mistake however, as Rayquaza seemed to impact an invisible border that flung him and Adam right back in. By this time, the local and legendary pokemon in the Hall of Origin were accustomed to seeing Adam smash through walls, and upon him shooting past him screaming his pain, he was often greeted with casual hello's or offers of healing after a particularly nasty impact.

By far and large the worst event was when Giratina attempted to place Adam in the distortion world. Nothing happened for a few minutes, so everyone assumed everything had gone well when the entire room shook, and the very air seemed to ripple and writhe as a massive hole was torn in it, along with the sound of loud screeches of pain and explosions. A bruised Giratina burst out of the distortion world, trailing smoke as she clutched an unconscious Adam in her wings, and flew as fast as she could away and hid behind arceus's throne, slamming the portal shut just as parts of the damaged and shattered distortion world became visible, and a black cloud obscured the view as a horrible screech rent their eardrums. Neither Giratina nor Adam would ever talk of this event again, Adam refusing to go anywhere near mirrors or the dark for quite some time and Giratina curling up and shaking whenever someone mentioned the incident, muttering about awful dark things, and how most of the damage ash fixed in her world was ruined again. It soon became a commonly discussed topic, with many theories arising among the general mass.

Eventually, they gave up in trying to send him down after he blew up the food court of the Hall of Origin and crushed Ho-oh, much to the joy of Lugia.  
In fact, he became quite the interesting figure over time. Mewtwo tried to probe his mind to figure out if anything had happened that he couldn't remember, and found that he had rammed into mental defenses so hard that his mind snapped back like a yo-yo, unable to break it without harming himself in the process.  
Mewtwo decided to query him on it a bit later.

"When I was trying to examine your mind, I found that I was for once unable to even ENTER your mind, much less examine it. Please, explain how you did so. Do you possess superior intellect? Some kind of specific human-only power? Extreme training?" Mewtwo asked.

"Huh?" Adam asked, picking his nose. Mewtwo sighed. "Never mind..."

Later, Mewtwo decided to help him pass the time by allowing him to spar mentally with other legendaries, including himself. This proved to be a mistake, however.

"Ready, Adam?" Mewtwo asked.

"Yep!" He responded, preparing himself for a mental assault.

"Alright, your move." Mewtwo said, overconfident in his abilities.

Mewtwo gasped as a mental mountain smashed through his incredibly strong mental defenses as easily as a knife through melting butter. He frantically tried to reassert himself, while Adam figured that Mewtwo was supposed to do something after he broke through his mental doors, surprised that they collapsed really easily, but thought that they were a distraction of some sort, as Mewtwo was one of the most powerful psychic legendaries ever, he wouldn't fall that easily would he? Mewtwo, after a minute of concentration managed to reassert himself mentally, and slammed into Adam's mind with enough force to knock out reshiram in a second, barley managing to smash past his defenses and breach his mind, and essentially found himself hardly able to do anything.

"Enough!" Mewtwo called, his head aching after a particularly powerful mental attack by Adam, so strong that it was actually visible, appearing as a vivid blue line of light that smacked Mewtwo between the eyes.  
"Your mind is abnormally strong for even a psychic type pokemon, let alone a human. I suggest we continue training later." Mewtwo said, and teleported away as fast as possible, trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.

After about a week, Arceus summoned all of the legendaries to the room once again.  
He stood on the podium and stated in his deep booming voice: Ladies, gentlemen, and the genderless of our number. (Regigigas and the others shifted uncomfortably.) You are obviously wondering about two things. Three, in the case of Heatran, and the answer is that yes, the food court is repaired and yes, they are serving steak. In any case, you are wondering, first of all, why I summoned you here and second, who is Adam, and how did he get here? I can only answer the first one, sadly."

"I summoned you all here to make a special announcement about Adam. The rumors are indeed true."  
Adam, who had been listening intently to the alpha pokemon's every word, nearly shot out of his seat at Arceus's statement. "Wh-What? No! What about Kyogre's broken ming vase!?"

"YOU broke my vase?" Kyogre growled angrily. However, before she could kill Adam, Arceus intervened.

"STOP!" Arceus bellowed. "I will not have my creations fighting like schoolchildren!" The legendaries grumbled and returned to their seats. "Now, while that rumor is true (Kyogre shot Adam a death glare while Groudon gave him a thumbs up) I speak of the other rumor that has been circulating" A large amount of the pokemon burst into frenzied chatter. A few others, and the legendaries and Adam sat confused, however.

"Yes…as Adam has proven himself trustworthy, if somewhat Klutzy, and I see no chance for a while for him returning to earth in his human state, I have decided to make Adam the very first…Legendary Human!"  
Arceus boomed out the last words so that they resonated in the air. The entire audience sat silent, staring at Adam. Then, the silence was broken by one irritatingly optimistic and cheerful voice…

"Yay, Adam! More people for me to play with!" Mew chirped happily.

Adam sweatdropped at mew's demeanor, grateful but at the same time embarrassed. However, mew's reaction broke the emotional dam, and the air was rent with cheers, yells, and chants of his name, as well as much exited chattering.

Several pokemon in the audience were not clapping. Rotom attempted to clap, but being ethereal was unable to and resorted to buzzing happily. The legendary musketeers instead whacked their sword like-horns together.  
Dialga roared instead of clapping, as it would fall if it did so, and Giratina just remained mostly impassive, with the barest hint of a smile on it's lips. Palkia, noting his brother's lack of arms, stopped clapping and taunted Dialga about having arms, which prompted Dialga to freeze Palkia in time until the ceremony ended.

Shaymin soared around, overjoyed, in it's sky forme, before it was accidentally caught between the "hands" of the three legendary birds, who had conjured balls of their respective element and were smashing them together in their equivalent of clapping, while Zapdos just kept making thunder sounds.

Kyogre had it's back turned, still angry about the vase, while Groudon was clapping with so much force that Celebi nearly fainted.  
Genesect merely beeped, as it was built to hunt and general celebration had almost no effect on it.

However….

Kyurem stood to the side, glaring at the celebration. It was utterly furious that a human of all creatures become a legendary. It was commonly angry, often shunned and bested by its pair of the tao trio, but this was the last straw.  
Humans were it's PREY. This was ridiculous. It was like finding out that all chickens had evolved to be impervious to physical harm and had laser vision. It was not alone in these feelings, however, as Tornadus and Thundrus also stood off to the side, glaring daggers at Adam. Mew noticed this, and proceeded to hyper beam them, and blasted them out of the room like the team rocket trio.  
Adam did not notice this exchange, and instead stood flabbergasted by the change of events.

"Adam, when you stop looking so shocked, you may come down here." Arceus said. Adam quickly recovered, and ran down to Arceus. "Well, Adam, this may certainly seem like quite a rush…but I feel you deserve it." Arceus began gathering a glistening golden/white energy orb at the top of his head. It shined and then Arceus was covered in the strange light. Adam suddenly found himself glowing blue, and lifting into the air. The hall of origin had gone deathly quiet, watching the ordeal. Arceus spoke, and this time his voice reverbrated with power. "You, noble human, possess strength of mind and body unlike any other of your species. While one is strong with mind, they are weak in soul, and such is the same for strength of soul. You possess both of these, along with many redeeming qualities that you have yet to discover and use. For this I shall grant you your power."

"B-but…I don't have either of those things. I'm not smart or strong or anything, I'm just average!" Adam protested.

"Nonsense. If you do not believe my words, are there any here who can confirm what I say?" Arceus said, turning to the crowd of pokemon.

For a moment, there was silence. Then, a tall, catlike pokemon with a large, thick purple tail and strange tube connected to his back stood.  
"I can vouch for the human's strength of mind," Mewtwo boomed, all traces of his boring, incredibly analytical personality gone. "For when I attempted to examine his mind for memories of his past, I found that he was able to fully resist my mental probe without consciously realizing it."

Surprised murmurs ran through the crowd, for resisting Mewtwo was a feat in itself that only the strongest legendaries could succeed in doing, but for a human to do that, let alone without realizing it was unheard of.

"Are there any that can vouch for his strength of spirit?"

A gasp arose from the crowd as a tall, long winged creature dripping with shadow arose, and took a step forward, it's presence there rippling the ground.  
"I can." Giratina said.

A/N Wow, that ended unexpectedly, didn't it? I hope you guys arent too mad at me for the suckiness of the story. From the next chapters on I promise I will write it more immersive in the character's emotions, throw in more humor and write it from Adam's point of view. Don't hate me!  
Jirachi: "this story SUCKS!"  
Me: "And what are you going to do about it?"  
Jirachi used Doom Desire!  
Me: "GAAAAAH!" *bursts into flame* "AH! BURNING HELP BURNING HELP BURNING"

Jirachi: "Until next time, loyal readers!"


	3. Chapter 3

"I can vouch for the human's strength of mind," Mewtwo boomed, all traces of his boring, incredibly analytical personality gone. "For when I attempted to examine his mind for memories of his past, I found that he was able to fully resist my mental probe without consciously realizing it."  
Surprised murmurs ran through the crowd, for resisting Mewtwo was a feat in itself that only the strongest legendaries could succeed in doing, but for a human to do that, let alone without realizing it was unheard of.

"Are there any that can vouch for his strength of spirit?"

A gasp arose from the crowd as a tall, long winged creature dripping with shadow arose, and took a step forward, it's presence there rippling the ground.

"I can." Giratina said.

What's happening now:

Even Arceus seemed surprised by this turn of events.

"You? But, you generally are quite grouchy around humans!" Groudon said, bemused.

Giratina shot him a death glare. Being the dragon of death, this worked quite well.

"Er, um, I mean, not grouchy, I mean you don't like them very much! …Your total awesomeness?" Groudon said, trying to win Giratina over with flattery and compensate for his earlier statement.

Giratina ignored him.

"During our unfortunate trek in the distortion world, Adam very nearly killed himself shielding me from one of the explosions that occurred when I tried to send him out through the distortion world. Very few humans would do such a thing if they were not pure of spirit, and I can think of only one other human who would do the same thing, and he is….well, he's quite dense really."

Somewhere in the sinnoh region:

"Alright, pikachu, use thunderbolt on that rock!" Ash yelled.

Pikachu, quite confused as to why his trainer wanted him to attack the landscape rather than the rapidly approaching Scolipede, obeyed anyway knowing that Ash usually had a plan in mind.

"Pika….CHUUUU!" Pikachu yelled as a pokemon war cry, Releasing enough electricity to power Castelia city for a week in a forceful blast on the rock.

The rock blew apart and smashed Scolipede onto the mountain, sandwiching it between a rock and a hard place, literally. Scolipede peeled off the mountain, slowly, and fell to the ground with a mighty thump, it's eyes swirls.  
"Oh no! Scolipede!" The nameless generic trainer in a t-shirt and shorts shouted in horror.

"Scolipede is unable to battle! Ash Ketchum is the winner!" Brock called.

"Yes! We won!" Ash yelled, doing a victory dance.

The nameless generic trainer recalled his Scolipede and bolted off to the nearest pokemon center.

"We fit in a lot of good training today, right buddy?"

**"We certainly did, Ash."** Pikachu responded in pokespeech.

Then, ash's stomach rumbled. Loudly. Everyone sweatdropped.

"I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat, Pikachu!"

"**Typical ash…"** Pikachu chuckled, running after ash.

"Although….I can't seem to shake the feeling that someone, somewhere, just insulted me…" Ash thought to himself.

Back at the hall of origin:

"But that's besides the point." Giratina continued, oblivious to the random cutscene that had taken place. Adam was not, however, and was looking around confusedly.

"Adam, in my eyes, has proven himself to be strong of spirit. Plus, he can't go down there in his current state, perhaps a change of forme would allow him to get past whatever is blocking him from decending."

"I'm boooorrred…" Mew whined. "Can't we just get on with the making him a legendary thing? Besides, everyone else here is just grouchy and never wants to play with me!"

"Maybe because the last time I played with you, you dyed me bright pink and put a picture of me on facebook! Darkrai yelled.

"Oh yeah, I saw that! It was really funny. Man, how many likes has that gotten?" Palkia rambled, oblivious to Darkrai's furious glare.

"Shut it, pinky." Dialga said.

"Why should I listen to someone who looks like they were attacked by a horde of five year olds armed with bejewelers?" Palkia yelled.

"At least I don't have pearls everywhere!" Dialga yelled back.

"What's wrong with pearls!?" Palkia asked angrily.

"They make you look gay." Dialga responded. Raikou snickered as Palkia fumed.

Giratina stepped in, her reasonable, calming voice bringing peace to - Oh wait, no, she threatened them with death and eternal unpaid internship in the distortion world with her.

Dialga and Palkia stopped fighting.

"SILENCE!" Arceus roared, terrifying everyone in the room to the point of fainting. " FOR MY SAKE, STOP FIGHTING THIS INSTANT!"

"Eep!" Palkia whispered.

"For your sake?" Adam asked, confused.

"Have you ever heard of for Arceus's sake? I'm Arceus, hence the for MY sake." Arceus explained.

Arceus, calming down, said "I apologise for the inconvenience, Adam. Would you like to continue with the ceremony?"

Adam, who hadn't moved an inch during the whole ordeal, nodded his head.

"Alright then. Arceus bowed his head towards Adam, and touched him lightly on the forehead. At once, a beautiful bright white light surrounded Adam, and he became completely obscured from view.  
Arceus spoke again, and his voice was once again shaking with power.

"I, Arceus, Father of all in existence, name you Adam, Master of the mind!"

And just like that, the light around Adam dissipated, and he fell to the floor with an anticlimactic smack.

"Ow…" Adam said, getting to his feet, and proceeded to trip again.

"Master of Klutziness would be a more suitable title…" Entei thought, snickering.

"I HEARD THAT!" Adam yelled.

"Heard what?" Entei asked.

"You saying that master of Klutziness being a better title." Adam said, still angry.

"What? I didn't say that out loud, how did you….?" Entei trailed off, confused.

"Wait, you thought that? Then how did I hear?" Everyone groaned.

"And they call him master of the mind…" Hetran said, chuckling in an exasperated way.

"Adam, since you are now both a legendary and a psychic type (Adam blinked rapidly at being called a psychic, surprised at this description of him as usually he couldn't predict the weather AFTER the report.), you can read the minds and pick up on the thoughts of others. You probably have other abilities that will show themselves in time, however." Mewtwo said. He silently feared what Adam could do once he realized the full extent of his mental powers.

"Wow….that's awesome!" Adam said, overjoyed.

"It is. But, being a legendary isn't all fun and games, Adam. There is a lot of responsibility and maturity needed for the job." Arceus said.

Just then, Mew flew by overhead yelling "I'm bored. I'm hungry. I want candy. Candy! Candy! Candy!"

Arceus sweatdropped. "Mew's example aside."

Adam nodded solemnly. "I know. There are plenty of 'Problem People' in the world, and I need to do my best to watch over my area and protect the innocents in this world."

"Nonetheless," Arceus said, a small grin forming on his face, "I see no reason for us to stick around, being bored out of our minds-"

"Huh? Wazzat?" Raikou asked sleepily, just waking up from a recent nap.

Arceus ignored him and continued. "So I think a small celebration is in order."

"YIPPEE!" Mew shrieked at the top of her lungs, giggling. "A party! Yay! There'l be candy and food and funny games and tv and NO BORING SPEECHES!"

"Uh, actually Regice wants to make a small motivational speech to conclude the meeting." Regirock said.

Mew groaned and fell to the floor. Raikou fell asleep again.

Regice shattered into ice shards, and moved across the ground, freezing it as it went along before reassembling on the podium.

"…That was very dramatic, regice. Needlessly so." Regirock said. Regice ignored him.

Regice shuffled it's papers, cleared it's throat, and began to speak.

"Beep. Beepbeep, beep beep beep boop. Boop beep, beep, beep boop beep beep. Beepbeep, beep beep beep, Beep beep, beep beep! Bebebeep, boop, boop beep. Beep." Regice finished dramatically.

The regis were in tears by the end of the speech.

"That was…the most moving story I've ever heard!" Regigigas choked out between sobs.

"Amazing!" Regirock wailed.

"Heartfelt!" Registeel cried.

The rest of the legendaries just stared at Regice. Adam scratched his head, confused as to how to respond to this turn of events.

"Um…yeah. Right. Why don't you take your seat, regice?" Arceus said.

Regice tried to nod it's head in response, but found that it had no head and instead just complied with what he was asked to do.

"I'm thirsty…." Mew whined. A small can clunked against her foot. "Hm? What's this?"

Lugia turned to look at what mew had found. "Huh? What's mew holding? Wait…that's soda! GAH! NO! MEW HAS SODA! WE DO NOT NEED A CAFFINATED MEW!" Lugia yelled in a panic.

Most of the surrounding legendaries began to panic while Mewtwo, Raikou, Entei, Latias and Giratina made a desperate lunge for mew, while Adam stood there confused as to what the problem was. They were too late, however, as Mew chugged the entire thing down, there was a flash of pink light, several shrieks of horror and then everything in Adam's vision went white.


	4. Chapter 4

28 Days later

"Stupid hyperactive mew…" Adam grumbled, his pink flaming hair waving back and forth as he propelled himself along the Chocolate Mint After Eight hallway using levitation. He sighed as he used his newfound power to sweep away some of the vanilla pudding blocking the room from entry, and entered his personal office. Well, less of an office than an office building. It was huge. At once, he returned to normal, his hair becoming it's normal short, black, curly self, and his legs transforming from chocolate to flesh. His office and arceus's chamber were the only rooms unaffected by mew's chaotic psychic outburst: The entire hall of origin had been so damaged and distorted by it, that anything and everything in it had it's personality and it's entire molecular structure rearranged.

For this reason, most of the pokemon were camped out in those areas. Adam sighed as he surveyed his office. It was a massive, quiet, cool room with a water cooler in the corner, and comfortable thick furry rugs. Several computers and control panels sat upon desks of psychic energy, and there was an air conditioner running at full blast, dispelling Groudon's drought ability. Several stacks of bookshelves sat aligning a wall, each of them with the ability to turn transparent when empty to allow view of whatever planet Adam chose to look at. A large plasma screen TV hung on the sky blue walls, designed for display of presentations, microscopic images and outside views of the office, and was currently playing Phineas and Ferb, in high definition, with a floating Jirachi laughing as Agent P (Agent Psyduck) kicked Dr. Deoxys in the face. The real Deoxys was sighing in the corner as a bunch of hyperactive little Psyducks attacked him.  
The back room, accessible through an electronic steel door, had a rather large laboratory, the engineer's dream come true. Electron microscopes, Quantum scramblers, Gravimeters, Seismometers, Micrometers, Mass Spectrometers and every other possible type of meter adjourned the steel tables. A large telescope extended from a window, giving a fabulous view of the dimensions. DNA Sequencers and splicers sat on a levitating nano-table, several sliders and petri dishes with cells growing in them sitting next to them. Cloning tubes extended outside the lab, and massive glowing orbs surrounded small dots of antimatter, serving as the power source. The central room was the simplest, but most important. A shiny mahogany coffee table sat in the center of the office, its curved legs laced with gold the only indentation in the beautiful snow white Persian (the place, not the cat) rug, an emerald colored circle and silver/diamond pattern the only thing breaking the snow white formation, and a large levitating Chocolate colored reclining chair sat behind it. A large aquarium sat and around it serving as the walls, with many coral reefs and aquatic pokemon inside. Adam took great pride in his office. It was a place where he could go to cool off when things became too rough.

But now, Adam thought with dismay, the tranquility was ruined. Many Alakazam, Porygon 2 and Noctowl buzzed around in the laboratory, preforming experiments with mewtwo directing them all. Groudon dozed in the corner, on one of the steel tables with all the microscopes swept onto the floor. Celebi and Latias were yanking books off the shelf and arranging them in tower formations, only for Raikou to smash through them right as they were about to finish. Entei and Suicune were jumping from desk of energy to desk of energy. Manaphy and Phione were pressing the buttons on the water coolers and giggling as it soaked the floor. Shaymin sat nestled in one of the flower bouquets and shooting razor leaves at whoever passed by.  
Darkrai buzzed around the room, scaring people and giving nightmares to the dozing groudon, while a furious Cresselia shot around the room screeching at darkrai. The Regis were trying to restrain Hetran from poking the antimatter bubble, and the Lord of Time and Lady of Space were currently engaged in a brawl, with many pokemon chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!". Victini was rooting for the both of them, prolonging the fight as their power kept increasing. The legendary musketeers were currently charging at each other with their sword-like horns, while Keldeo kept interrupting their duels with sacred sword.  
Melloetta sang in Reshiram and Zekrom's ear, calming them down from a recent argument. Azelf and Uxie shook their heads in embarassment and amusement as Mespirit dumped buckets of water or slime or teleported people outside as a way of practical jokes. Needless to say, the room was trashed.

"AHEM!" Adam cleared his throat, angrily. "WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING TO MY OFFICE?"  
The result was instant chaos. The pokemon and most of the legendaries ran around screaming in fear, trying desperately to fix the damage, while the others attempted to block his line of vision.

It failed.

With a flick of his hand, he sent the pokemon flying sideways, and repaired the room.

"Oh! Hi there Adam, didn't see you come in! …What are you doing here?" Jirachi asked nervously.

"Watching you DESTROY MY OFFICE!"

"Oh! Uh, about that. We weren't destroying it, we were, uh…"

"Remodeling it!" Suicune pitched in.

"You were remodeling? For me? Well I guess that makes everything fine then!"

"Really?"

"NO."

Suicune began stammering. "Buh-buh-but we were t-t-trying to remod-"

Adam interrupted. "You weren't remodeling. You decided to camp in my office and throw a party and trash my room!"

"But-"

"BUT NOTHING! You trashed my room, let me do all the work, and had the nerve to lie to me?" Adam yelled, getting angrier by the minute. "You know what? GET OUT!"

With those last two words, he encased them all in psychic energy and flung them all outside, and slammed the office doors shut.

"Morons…Better check what they are up to now…"

He changed the channel to the outside hall view, and started laughing at what he saw.  
No legendary was left untouched by mew's sugar induced outburst. All of the pokemon lay squirming and groaning on the ground, and then a mass of yells of horror and shrieks came from the entangled mess. And for good reason, too. Rayquaza, with his newfound afro, lay entangled around Groudon who had a giant icicle growing out of his head and tiny feet. Mespirit, Azelf and Uxie had green gems, and their tails had sprouted suction cups. Darkrai had turned bright pink, and Cresselia black. Those were the only recognizable legendaries. The rest was a mass of color, tentacles, fire, and slime.

Chuckling as he flicked the TV off, he wandered into the aforementioned aquarium room. Sitting in the chair, he waved his hand and a holographic display of earth appeared on the table. Enlarging the display, it zoomed in until it flattened out into a holographic map of the Sinnoh region. With another wave of his hand, he enlarged it until it focused on Vielstone city. The display wasn't just a map, however. It showed real time images of the events occurring below, including weather, from a changeable view. It also allowed him to interact with the objects below simply by moving his hands. Flick a building, and the actual building crumbles. Put your hand along a street, and a psychic barrier blocks it. It could be arranged to look at a single person, or an entire city or even the solar system. For more detailed needs, there was a blue stylus that could be used. If you needed to set up a barrier around a city but also needed your hands for some other problem, the stylus could be used to draw the line where you want the barrier to be, and then it creates the barrier and holds it. Detailed instructions could be done as well, such as placing specific objects, interacting mentally, removing or adding sections of land temporarily, blocking things from view, and all sorts of other things.  
He sighed as more of Mew's vanilla pudding fell onto the skyscrapers. It was the eleventh time this hour. Continuing to sigh, he swept off the pudding, and dragged it into the holographic garbage bin icon sitting above everything. Continuing what was most probably the longest sigh in history, he repaired most of the damage. He then idly began poking at a wannabe looter with his finger.

Veilstone View

The city was a mess. Cars were abandoned in the middle of the street, windows were cracked and people were yelling for help. Looting, arson and robbery would have been abundant, had everything and everyone not be buried in tons of pudding. People screamed running back and forth, dodging falling pudding blobs like a demonic game of tetris.

"LOOK OUT!"  
"HELP ME!"  
"FIND MY SON!"  
"I'm right here, mom."  
"INCOMING PUDDING!"  
"WHY COULDN'T IT BE CHOCOLATE?!" (Practically everything froze and stared at the commenter, even the pudding.)

"This is Sinnoh now, reporting to you live from Veilstone city.. As you can see, Vielstone city is still under barrage of bizarre, gelatinous blobs- wait, what? It's pudding? How is pudding falling from the sky?! …That's my job to answer that? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN RANDOM PUDDING FALLING FROM THE SKY LOGICALLY, BOB?" She stopped, and took a breath to compose herself again. "Anyway, as I was saying, the city is still under barrage by…pudding. The effects are devastating, with hundreds of people and pokemon buried underneath the globs, and (get the boom mike out of my face, bob) hundreds of cars and homes wrecked by the-INCOMING!" She dived to the side as a blob came smashing down where she was standing a moment ago. The camera spun through the air, everything becoming a blur and then landing on the ground, revealing a frantic newswoman trying to remove herself from the goop. Then, suddenly, all of the pudding began to glow. "Wait, why is it glowing? Scratch that, SHIT! IT'S GLOWING! RUN!" She screamed as she bolted for the covers of the woods. The pudding glowed ever brighter, then rose up into the sky, all of it concealing into a single mass before disappearing entirely.

Everyone froze, staring at the place where the pudding was. Then a single cry could be heard across all of sinnoh:

"What the hell?"

Meanwhile, unnoticed by all a man dressed in black was being repeatedly shoved into the ground, wailing about ghost pokemon.

Back at the hall:

Adam chuckled at the display, and shut the holograph down. He stepped out of the office, to be greeted by a surprise…  
"Pow! Bew, bew bew! Boom! Kablam!" Spiritomb sat in the corner, playing with action figures. "Help me, noble Spiritomb!" He said, raising her voice to sound like a female. "Have no fear, I will save you!" He said, deepening his voice. He was acting out a scene with his action figures, swinging them around and making flying noises. "BOOM! Take that, Adam!"

Adam cleared his throat. "Take what, exactly?"

"Hm? Wha-GAH! Oh! Hi Adam, what are you doing here?" She asked nervously, hiding her action figures behind her keystone.

"Apparently, watching you play with dolls." Adam commented snidely.

"They aren't dolls! They are action figures." She sniffed. "Totally different concept."

"How is that, exactly?"

"Can dolls do this?" She pressed a button on the Giratina figure and the spikes on the wings shot out and hit Adam in the stomach.

"GAH!"

"Oh crap! Sorry! So sorry!"

Adam glared at Spiritomb so hard it was a miracle she wasn't paralyzed.

"Just go, before I do something I might regret."

Spiritomb, recovering her swagger, said "Like what? I'm a Dark type in case you forgot, psychic attacks have no effect on me!"

The second she finished this sentence, a bright blue wall of psychic energy slammed into her hard enough to crack the wall. "Perhaps I could do that?" Adam said, smirking.

"Wha….how…." Spiritomb gasped weakly. "I'm a dark type…"

"There are three things you forgot. One, there are parts of your body that aren't ethereal, such as your general flesh and spines. Two, I have control over the mind, not just psychic moves.

"Wanna know what the third one is?" Spiritomb nodded her head. In response, he quickly formed a ball of pure mental energy, and sent it at Spiritomb, nearly knocking her out.

"I got bored of those moves not affecting you." He said, and walked out.

"…Ouch…" Spiritomb whispered.

In the past few days, Adam had been working on his abilities with Mewtwo. Soon, however, it was Adam teaching Mewtwo things, and Adam quickly became one of the most powerful psychics in the hall, only surpassed by Mew, Cresselia and obviously Arceus, Mew because she had been around from the dawn of time and could use any move, and Cresselia because she spent half her life using her powers to keep darkrai out of people's heads. Arceus was the most powerful psychic in the hall for obvious reasons. Adam probably could surpass Cresselia given enough time, but he wouldn't dare. The pokemon of sweet dreams can give you nightmares. Example no. 1:

Flashback:

_"Hey, Uxie, can I ask you a question?" Azelf asked._

_Uxie nodded. "Sure." She said in a monotone voice._

_"Who wins the superbowl again?"_

_Uxie facepalmed. "For the last time, I am not helping you cheat!" She said, exasperated while at the same time maintaining an expressionless voice. " I mean, honestly, what good would I be as a pokemon of knowledge if all I did was-" Uxie was interrupted before she could finish._

_"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HEEEEELP MEEEE!" A screaming Darkrai ran past the duo and hid behind Azelf. Moments later, an demented looking cresselia wielding a psychic battleaxe past the corner, spotted the two of them and flew over._

_"You two! Where did he go?!" Cresselia screamed. Fearing for their life and darkrai's, they pointed in the opposite direction. The deranged lunar swan shot off like a rocket, Screaming like a banshee._

_The duo sweatdropped. "….That was odd…." Uxie said._

End of flashback:

Adam rose from his seat and walked outside. The residual power from Mew's outburst had finally faded, he noted, so he underwent no transformation.

"Guess I'll go for a walk…" He said.

He then proceeded to wander the halls, repairing what damage he could. Smashed wall? Fixed. Mutated pokemon? Fixed. Hallway filled with infuriated waving tentacles of darkness?

"…You know what, I'm gonna leave this room alone for a while." He said, backing away slowly.

He went into the food court, and ordered some spicy shrimp and noodle soup. Looking around, he saw a few of his friends sitting at a table. He walked over and sat down.

"Hey Adam, what's up? Raikou asked.  
"Nothing, really. Just repairing some damage. You?"  
"Same thing. Stupid pink cat…"  
At that moment, the most loathed voice in the Hall of Origin spoke up. "Well, that isn't very nice, Raikou!" Mew said.  
"You turned me into a chocolate growlithe!" He yelled.  
"It was an accident! After all, I was getting bored, how was I supposed to- hey, why is everyone staring at me like that?" The second after she finished those words, mewtwo shot up and flung a shadow ball at her.  
She dived to the side, and the ball smashed into a table, sending the pidgey roosting on it flying. They glared at mewtwo, then looked at who he was glaring at and shifted their anger onto her.  
"Ha ha, missed me!" She taunted. "WAUGH!" She was forced to dive to the side as a gust attack went spiraling past her.  
After that, all hell broke loose.

The hall exploded into yells of anger, and attacks were sent flying in every direction, trying to hit mew. A hyper beam shot by to the left. A psyshock to the right. A dark void smashed through a wall. Food flew, tables smashed and things exploded. Toxic splattered all over the food stores, who were chucking corndogs at the rapidly dodging mew. A brave bird nearly made contact only to be whacked by a mist ball. Sheer colds and blast burns shot around, counteracting each other. A gust sent zapdos into the path of an oncoming fusion bolt.

Mew dodged every attack, ducking and weaving around. "You guys are the worst shots in history!" Mew taunted. "You couldn't even hit the-OOF!" Mew was caught off guard and a draco meteor, courtesy of Rayquaza, smacked her between the eyes and sent her flying.

"Woah, nice shot Rayquaza!" Entei murkrowed.  
"Awesome!" Darkrai said.  
"Pink idiot deserved it." Palkia commented.  
"Look who's talking…" Dialga said. Palkia glared.  
"I hope she isn't too badly hurt…" Cresselia said.  
"WHO CARES!" Everyone else roared.

Adam sighed and facepalmed. He got up, and walked out of the room.

Two hours later

"Well, I don't care if he was crying, you don't do that!"  
"For the last time, you stupid fish, I just quieted him down!"  
"BY SLAMMING HIM INTO A WALL?!  
Groudon and Kyogre walked (Well, floated in Kyogre's case) into the meeting hall, bickering.

"Alright, alright. What's the argument here?" Rayquaza asked, quite PO'ed. They both started yelling at the same time.  
"THIS STUPID FISH KEEPS YELLING AT ME FOR NOTHING!"  
"THIS DUMB ROCK SLAMMED MANAPHY INTO A WALL FOR NO REASON!"  
"I HAD A REASON, HE WAS CRYING!"  
"IDIOT! THAT WOULD MAKE HIM CRY MORE!"  
"MORON!"  
"STUPID ROCK LIZARD!"  
"DUMB GIANT FISH! GO BATHE IN TARTAR SAUCE!"  
"LEAST I HAVE MORE SPACE ON THE PLANET THAN YOU!"  
"AND HOW MUCH OF THAT WATER IS OCCUPIED WITH PISS?"  
Rayquaza had had enough. "SHUT UP!" He screeched. You could see the smoke coming out of his ears.  
The two ignored him and were getting into a fistfight.  
"HA! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FISTS TO FIGHT WITH!" Groudon yelled.

"Well, Groudon, you don't have opposable thumbs, so I think that if anyone is taunting people about hand structure it should be me." A quiet voice stated behind them.

"SHUT UP!" All three roared. Rayquaza paled when they saw who they were yelling at.  
Adam stood there, sitting calmly and smirking.  
"GAH! DON'T HURT MEEEEE!" Kyogre wailed, diving behind Groudon.  
"Wimp…." Groudon muttered.  
Regaining their composure, they realized that three of them could stand up to one of him.  
"Your kind has opposable thumbs, but I can shoot cannons of water at people at will." Kyogre said in response.  
"Yeah, we can do that. It's called spitting." Groudon burst out laughing at this. Rayquaza whacked him in the back of the head with his tail.  
"You wanna get in a fight with us? In case you haven't noticed, there's a bit of a size difference between us." Groudon said, his swagger overpowering his common sense.  
"Two things. One, the size problem can be easily remedied." Before Groudon could ask what he meant by that, he continued. "And two, while I would currently lose in a fistfight with you three, there is someone who has many more hands than you three do, combined. I suggest turning around."  
The three complied, and found to their horror, Arceus standing behind them, all 1000 cosmic arms extended and curled into fists. A couple were holding clubs or axes, and one was even sharpening a sword.  
They fled so fast they left images of themselves floating behind, cartoon style.  
One hour and a very terrified trio of hoenn legendaries later

Arceus stood atop his pedestal in the meeting room of the hall of origin. Well, it was the new meeting room, anyway, Mew had destroyed the old one.  
"I called you all here for a specific reason. I assume you are all familiar with Ash Ketchum?" Arceus asked.  
Every legendary nodded their head.  
"He saved the tree of beginning!" Mew said.  
"He saved me from a giant energy sapping machine that would have eventually ended the world." Victini said.  
"You too?" Latios asked.  
"Wait, didn't you die in that movie?" Palkia said.  
"Two words: Ho-Oh." Latios responded.  
"He saved me from a madman who was taking my power to rule the distortion world." Giratina said.  
"He saved me from Giratina!" Shaymin said.  
"FOR THE LAST TIME, I WAS NOT TRYING TO EAT YOU!" Giratina roared.  
"He stopped me from destroying Alamos town." Dialga said.  
"I died in that movie because of you." Darkrai said, glaring at Dialga.  
"Join the club." Latios said.  
"He fulfilled an ancient prophecy and stopped the legendary nitwits from fighting, and then saved my wife and kids." Lugia commented, grinning as he thought of the boy.  
"He stopped the unknown from enveloping the planet in tacky crystals and got rid of a lousy imitation of me." Entei said. He got many strange looks.  
"Saved me from an insane team rocket operative with a stupid haircut." Celebi said.  
"You too?" Latias asked.  
"Four words: Giant evil super groudon." Jirachi said, shuddering at the memory.  
"Saved me from Douchebag no. 1 over there." Deyoxs said, glaring at Rayquaza.  
"Saved me from blocky robot death." Rayquaza said, glaring right back.  
"Mama May and Ash saved me from some mean pirate people and a bunch of team rocket people!" Manaphy said. "They were dumb." He said, thinking of the Rockets.  
"I'm pretty sure I saw those morons around when he stopped kodai from nearly killing celebi and turning the city to dead plants." Raikou said.  
"Pretty sure I saw them too." Articuno commented.  
"He saved us all and stopped cyrus from destroying this world and making a new one." The lake trio said in union.  
"….You can be really creepy sometimes." Groudon said.  
"We know." They said.  
"Stopped me from destroying the world after I went insane with rage because of team rocket." Mewtwo said.  
"So THAT'S why people glare at you behind your back!" Jirachi blurted.  
"WHAT?!" Mewtwo shrieked.  
"Ho-Oh's been stalking him!" Jirachi continued, oblivious to the infuriated glare of Mewtwo and Ho-oh.  
"Wait, she's STALKING him?" Groudon said with a laugh.  
"Finally, I'm not alone!" Zapdos said.  
"….." Was the reply of literally EVERY legendary in the room.  
"So it seems you all are very familiar with Ash. Indeed, he saved me once." Arceus said, breaking the awkward silence.  
"I'm not." Adam said. "I have no idea what any of you are talking about."  
"Remember the incident in the orange islands? Or the giant hurricane Mewtwo created? Or the Temporary vanishing of Alamos town? Or at the sword of the vale? Or literally anywhere else on the planet Ash visited? I swear, kid's around more disasters than an Absol…" Mew said.  
Mewtwo just sighed and gave adam a projection of what Ash had done over his few years.  
After a minute, Adam opened his eyes. "So, he's saved the world around 7 times. It makes me wonder… what'll happen to the world when Ash STOPS visiting other regions?" Adam asked. There was an uncomfortable silence.  
"Eh, there will be a convenient plot device around sometime or another." Entei said. Everyone nodded, accepting his point.

Arceus sighed. "Can I continue, already? I don't like these meetings any more than you do.  
Anyway, Ash is returning to the Sinnoh region, but he will be in trouble soon."

"And you can't tell us what it is, because the writer is too lazy to make up a new plot point." Entei finished.

"DAMNIT, ENTEI! STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" Groudon yelled.

Arceus nodded and continued. "Exactly. So, I shall send down a few of you to keep watch over him, and intervene where necessary. The rest shall remain in their lair or here, continuing their job. I have prepared a list." He unrolled a paper strip mentally and began reading aloud.  
"Latias." She let out a small squeal of joy at this.  
"Mew." She did a small flip.  
"Cresselia." She nodded her head.  
"Darkrai." He stood there. "Darkrai?" He still stood there. "DARKRAI!" Darkrai snapped up, shouting; "GAH! OK! IM AWAKE ALRIGHT! Alright.'  
"Rayquaza." He nodded his head.  
"Mewtwo." He dipped slightly in levitation.  
"Adam." He blinked in surprise.  
"That is all. The rest of you may go." Everyone sat there, waiting. "What is it now?" Arceus asked in irritation.  
"Well, uh, we have to be stealthy, correct? As in we can't let Ash know he's being followed by legendary pokemon…but it's a bit difficult to do that AS LEGENDARY POKEMON." Darkrai said.  
"I know. Which is why, for the time being, you will be turned into humans."  
"WHAAAT?!" They all screamed.  
"Heh, looks like you guys finally get to live a day as me." Adam smirked.  
"I shall transform all of you, besides Adam, into humans. Simply picture what you want to be, and you will be it. I must tell you, though, no using your abilities. It wouldn't be very suiting of a human to randomly fire hyper beams." Arceus said.  
"How come Adam doesn't have to be a human! It isn't fair!" Mew yelled. They all looked at her blankly until realization dawned on her. "Oh."  
"The exception of lack of abilities is of course for helping them, and possibly for training pokemon. However, you must mention to them that you have abilities, and make it believable. This will be easier for psychic pokemon than the rest."  
Mew, Latias and Cresselia started mocking Rayquaza and Darkrai. Adam and Mewtwo sighed and face palmed. "Remind me, mewtwo, how do you live with them again?"  
"Honestly, I don't know."  
"Imagine your forms in your mind, and take these." He gave them all small blue pearls.  
Every legendary shut their eyes and started vividly imagining their forms. Adam idly poked about in their minds, checking that none of them went overboard. Mew was a little girl in pink shorts, a salmon shirt, glo-sneakers and had pink hair. Cresselia was a rather tall, radiant woman with vivid, rainbow like blue and pink shimmering in her dress and hair. Darkrai was dressed in intimidating black. Leather jacket, Dress shoes, Black shining pants, Short hair, Midnight black eyes and rather tall. Mewtwo was an intimidating figure as well. A man in Grey-Purple hair, a lab coat, a rather thin but strong body, and pale white skin and purple eyes. Unremarkable, yet unforgettable. Moving on to Rayquaza, he had to keep himself from laughing as he saw a muscle-bound superhero carrying a fainted woman from a fire.  
"Really? THAT'S what you're going with?" He commented mentally.  
"GAH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" He yelled.  
"I suggest getting rid of the girl and the fire, because you are choosing what YOU will look like. With that, you will end up as a muscled woman constantly burning." He said.  
Adam chuckled as Rayquaza frantically reasserted himself so he looked like the average person, with a swept back haircut, green hair, green shorts, A formal shirt and white gloves.  
Retreating back into his own mind, he changed himself a bit so he would change when he came down.  
"All right, here we go." Arceus said, and then everything went white.

A/N Alright, chapter finished. No, I didn't skip over latias, you get to see what she looks like next chapter. Also next chapter, humor abound! From now on, There may be some Altoshipping, Pokeshipping, And a bunch of other ships. Lots of ships. It wont be overly romantic, but I can confirm latias or misty will end up with ash, and brock will NEVER end up with nurse joy or officer jenny.

Edited.


	5. Chapter 5

"Urgh…My head…." Darkrai groaned as he sat up. He rubbed his head with his hand, and scratched his itching leg. "Wait…Leg? GAH!" Darkrai shot straight up, flailing his arms like a madman. "WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED TO MEEEEEE-OOMPH!" He was tackled to the ground mid-sentence by a blue blur.  
"Shut it, you moron!" Adam hissed. "Let the others sleep."  
"What on earth is going on?! Who are you? Why am I a huma-OOMPH! He was once again silenced by Adam. "Think, darkrai. What just happened?" Darkrai paused and thought, and then the memories of the past night flooded into his mind. "Oh."  
"Yeah, oh. Convinent that you wake up right as all the stuff is set up!" Cresselia said, appearing behind him.  
"Stuff?" Darkrai asked. It was just then that he noticed that there were a few tents set up around a pile of wood.  
"Why tents? Shouldn't we be finding Ash and his friends?"  
"In case you haven't noticed, there are still a few people asleep." Just then, there was a loud yell from the tents. "Well, there were…"  
Rayquaza and mewtwo burst out of the tents. Rayquaza was yelling in terror, Mewtwo yelling in rage, thinking that Team Rocket had modified him again. It took a good deal of coaxing and a few well placed dynamic punches courtesy of mew to calm them both down.  
"So, where's latias?" Rayquaza asked a bit too quickly. No one noticed.  
"Sleeping." Responded Cresselia.  
And as she finished that sentence the tent latias was occupying shook a bit, and emerged a sleepy latias. And that was where Rayquaza, Cresselia, Mew, Darkrai, Mewtwo, and even Adam's mouth hit the ground. Rayquaza began drooling.  
And for good reason. She wore a beautiful red dress that highlighted her curves and white ruffles at the end of it, Brownish long hair that shimmered in the sunlight, Chocolate hair, A Jadeite necklace, and a green/white beret.  
"Gah-gah-gah-guh-wha-wow." Darkrai babbled incoherently.  
"Preeeety….." Rayquaza drooled.  
"Wow, latias, you look great!" Cresselia said.  
"Shiny…." Mew said, mesmerized by her jewl necklace. She is a cat, after all, what did you expect?  
"Latias, you shouldn't be wearing that necklace. It's REALLY expensive. Someone might steal it."  
"I'll be fine! Besides, if someone tries to take it we can turn them into pulp."  
"How expensive can that possibly be, anyway? After all, it has to be-"  
"3 million or more pokedollars per carat." Adam interrupted.  
"…What was I talking about again?" Darkrai said with dollar signs in his eyes.  
"Darkrai?"  
"Yes?"  
"Standing in the fire there." Cresselia gestured at the campfire.  
"What?" He looked down and found to his terror that he was currently standing in the middle of a blazing campfire. "WAAAAAAAAUGH!" He screamed, flailing madly.  
"Preeeeeety….." Rayquaza continued, oblivious to the scene around him.  
"Seeing as everyone is up, we should go find-"  
"ASH!" Latias said with renewed excitement.  
"Right. Let's go." Adam said. He waved his hand, and the camp vanished. They all started walking.

Things continued without any trouble for half an hour. Then they heard some voices around the corner.

"ASH, I TOLD YOU TO LET ME READ THE MAP!" A female voice yelled.  
"FOR THE LAST TIME, WE AREN'T LOST!" A male voice yelled back.  
"OH YEAH? WHERE ARE WE THEN?"

"What's that?"  
"I said we're lost, OK?!"  
"Do they always fight like this?" Another female voice asked.  
"Pretty much." Another voice said back.

"That's them!" Mew said.  
"…Wait, so the fate of the world is in THEIR hands?"  
"Yep!"  
"…World had a nice run, anyway."  
"Shut up, you two!" Adam hissed. "Invisibility, mew and mewtwo."  
They turned invisible.

"I CAN'T BELIVE I AGREED TO JOIN YOU!" The female voice yelled.  
"I CAN'T BELIVE I ACTUALLY WANTED YOU TO!" The boy, presumably ash, yelled back.  
"…You did?"  
"Well, yeah…."

"I sense a relationship here!" Darkrai whispered. Latias fumed in the corner.  
"Shut it! Anyway, here's the story. Mew is going to the pokemon center, mewtwo is watching her. Darkrai and cresselia…hm…You would kill me if I made you a couple…So you are a couple." Adam said.  
"NO!" They both whisper-yelled.  
"Fine, fine, brother and sister. Similar enough. Rayquaza is after another criminal organization-"  
"Wait, what if there isn't one?"  
"There will be, I assure you. Latias is assisting them and is participating in contests, and I'm another pokemon trainer competing in the gyms. We all decided to join each other and help each other out, and we are all fans of Ash, and we meet him by surprise and decide to join him. Your names are Tias, Ray, Rai, Cress, and, uh..what for mew and mewtwo…."  
"Mewgle?" Suggested mew.  
"As long as he hasn't read that fan fiction, your good. And for mewtwo…"  
"Prof. Twin?"  
"…Actually, That sounds good." Adam said, his eyebrows rising in surprise. Mew NEVER has good ideas.  
"Wait, how will you be a pokemon trainer? You don't have pokemon." Darkrai said.  
"Actually, I do." He gestured to two pokeballs around his belt. "And latias can catch some."  
"Alright. Lets go." Cress said, and they all stood up and started walking around the corner.

There was an awkward silence for a little bit after his response.  
Then it was shattered by brock. "Ooh, looks like ash has a crush!" Ash and misty's face turned red. "Go on, you to, kiss and make up!" Their faces turned crimson, and brock smirked. It then turned into a horrified stare as misty pulled out her mallet. He fled.  
"COME BACK HERE, YOU PERVERT!" She screamed, swinging her mallet wildly.  
The rest of the group sweatdropped. "Is it always like this?" Dawn asked.  
"With misty? Yeah." Ash said nonchalantly. "You get used to it."  
A small boy emerged from the bushes….And was instantly met full force by misty's mallet.  
"AUGH! MY FACE!" He yelled, collapsing to the ground.  
The entire group ran over to check on the boy.  
"Yeesh, misty, not a very nice way to greet people…" Ash said.  
"It was an accident, you moron!" Misty responded.  
"Urgh…" He groaned, getting to his feet. He was a small boy with curly black hair, brown eyes and dimples. He wore a blue polo shirt, black pants and carried a small cane with a gem set in it. He had tan skin. He also had a black glove on his left hand. "My head…What on earth was that for?" He said.  
"Sorry about that, I was chasing this pervert here." Misty gave brock a look that said "I'll kill you next time." Brock shuddered.  
"I know, I heard a lot of yelling and came to investigate. I'm Adam, by the way, and I can assume that your name is Misty."  
"How did you know that?"  
"Once again, a lot of yelling."  
"Oh." Ash grinned sheepishly.  
"And what might your name be?" He said, gesturing to dawn and ash.  
"I'm dawn, and this is piplup." She said cheerily.  
"I'm Ash, and this is Pikachu."  
"Pika!"  
"Wait, Ash ketchum?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Because I'm like your biggest fan!"  
"Fan?"  
"Yes. You didn't think that defeating the frontier brains, the orange league, and almost winning every other elite four battle ever would go unnoticed, did you?" Adam asked.  
Ash scratched his chin. "Now that you mention it…"  
"That, and also the whole incident with the legendary birds."  
Misty was suddenly apprehensive. "How did you know about that?"  
" A few subtle clues, such as the ocean current changing, a giant storm and every pokemon on the planet heading there." Adam said.  
"Oh. Well, that would attract attention, wouldn't it." Misty said, mareepishly.  
"I'm confused…" Dawn said. "What's this about the legendary birds?"  
"Dawn, how many times has ash saved the world when you were with him?"  
"Uh…Four?"  
"Something like one of those incidents."  
"Oh."  
"What were you doing, going around in the bushes, anyway?" Misty asked.  
"Me and my friends were going to the nearest pokemon center." He answered.  
"Your friends?" Dawn asked.  
Just then, a rustle came from the bushes. Adam turned around, got an angry expression and kicked the bush. A teenager in black clothing fell out. "Rai, what the hell are you doing?" He asked, irritated.  
"Eavesdropping, what does it look like?" He groaned.  
The group sweatdropped.  
"Well, you've met Rai, why don't I introduce you to the rest of my friends." And he took off, jogging. Ash raised his eyebrow, and turned to look at the rest of the group, then ran off after the boy.  
After half an hour or so, they found a group of people sitting under the shade of the tree.  
"That's them." Adam said. He had remained silent during the walk. "Guys, I'm back!" He said.  
"Finally! We were starting to get worried." A woman in a shimmering dress said. Then she noticed them. "Who's this?" She asked.  
"This is ash, misty, dawn and…uh…I didn't catch his name." He gestured to brock.  
"I'm brock."  
"Why are they here?" She asked curiously.  
"Well, I was walking out of the bushes when I came in contact with a mallet…" He glared at misty. For some reason, ash felt a small bubble of anger at the actions. "Then after I recovered, I realized who it was and decided to introduce you guys. So, guys, this is cress. You've met Rai. The guy over there with the green hair is Ray. Where's the professor and mewgle?"  
"Mewgle?"  
"Don't ask."  
"Prof. Twin is getting some supplies. Mewgle is nagging him as always." Rai butted in.  
"And over there is Tia." The group turned to look, and before they could introduce themselves, brock's perverted side took over. A pink background appeared out of nowhere, and he lept over and started the usual 'brock exchange.'  
"Tia…Such a beautiful name! But not as beautiful as your eyes…indeed, I think we were fated to meet! This is our destin-AAAAAAGH!" Brock fell to the ground mid speech, clutching his head. Behind him, a fuming misty stood. Tia didn't even appear to notice, and was walking over to the group.  
"Hi! I'm Tia. Nice to meet you! You must be ash." She said.  
"Yep, and this is pikachu!" Ash said.  
"Aww, he's cute!" She said, petting pikachu.  
Brock watched the scene with envy. He was getting the full brunt of that girl's attention, and ash didn't even notice!  
Dawn grinned at the exchange. She, like brock, could see how well they were bonding.  
Misty could see it too, and didn't like it one bit. Dawn swore she could actually see the steam coming out of her ears! Luckily, before anything could happen, ash asked a question.  
"So, what are you guys doing here?"  
"A multitude of different reasons." Adam answered. "Mewgle is going to the pokemon center, and Prof. Twin is escorting her."  
"Professor Twin? Never heard of him." Ash said.  
"He's a new professor. Not noticed much, but he does make a few contributions."  
"I would hope I made more than a few." A gruff, calm voice said from behind them. They turned around, and saw the professor standing there.  
"Hi, professor. This is-" Adam started to say.  
"Ash, dawn, misty and brock. Yes, I know." He said.  
"…Professor, how long have you been standing there?"  
"As long as brock was recovering from Misty's hammer arm attack." He answered. Dawn and Tia chuckled.  
"…Well, past that unnerving bit of news…" Adam said. "Like I was saying, Tia here is participating in contests."  
"Really? Me too!" Dawn said.  
"That's so cool! Maybe you can teach me some things?" Tia said, nearly jumping up and down in excitement.  
Adam smiled at the exchange. "Cress and Rai here are brother and sister, and are journeying the regions and bonding with pokemon."  
"Well, I do. Rai likes to scare the starly."  
"What? It's fun!"  
"And I'm a pokemon trainer." Adam continued.  
"Hey, I'm one too! Ash said. "What pokemon do you have?"  
"I'll show you. Go, Espeon and Lucario!" He said, throwing two pokeballs in the air. They popped open, and a pink cat-like creature and a blue and black Jackal-like creature popped out.  
The two surveyed the area. For some reason, Ash seemed mildly surprised at the sight of the Lucario. This was not unnoticed by Adam.

"Ash, what's the matter?" Adam asked.  
"Nothing…just memories."  
"…Anything to do with the tree of beginning?"  
"How did you know that?!" He said defensively.  
"Ash, for one, I visited that area when that was happening. Lucario also says that he senses that you have had contact with a Lucario before. I put two and two together."  
"Ah…" Ash was surprised with this turn of events, and sank slightly into a stupor at the memory of his friend Lucario.  
Dawn seemed confused. "Wait, said? You can talk to your Lucario?"  
"Dawn, Lucario can communicate telepathically." Adam said.  
"Oh. Sorry!" She apologized.  
"But you were right on the nail there. I, and a few of my other friends here, can understand what pokemon are saying."  
"WHAT?" Dawn and brock screamed in surprise.  
"Well, I can understand what pikachu says." Ash said. "If you spend enough time with a pokemon, you know what they mean."  
"Not like that. I mean, precisely."  
"Adam!" Cress hissed.  
"Cress, these are people we can trust." Adam responded.  
"I for one think he's lying." Pikachu said.  
Dawn, ash, misty and brock turned to pikachu in surprise.  
"Pikachu, could you repeat that?" Ash said.  
"Well, ok, but I doubt you'll pick it up."  
"Ash…Is pikachu…Talking?" Misty said slowly.  
"That would be another side effect of me. Prolonged presence near me results in pokemon's thoughts and communication becoming incredibly easy to understand." Adam said.  
"Woah…" Pikachu and piplup said.  
"Woah…" Everyone said.  
"Adam, why didn't you tell us that you could do that?" Cress asked.  
"The same reason you don't go blurting out your diary. Unless the situation presents itself, it remains a secret." He said.  
"Any other weird secrets?" Misty said.  
"Well, no. Not really." Adam said.  
"Not really?"  
"Well, fine…there is one. I have an extra pokemon, but I don't show him much…"  
"What could this new pokemon be?" the professor said.  
"Not showing."  
Misty pulled out her hammer. Adam paled.  
"Ok, ok, fine." He pulled out a black and yellow pokeball, what ash recognized as an ultra ball, and opened it up. There was a flash of light, and what appeared was…  
"An Unown?!" Ash yelled, faced with a horrible flashback.  
"That, and a shiny one too." Adam said.  
Sure enough, the floating letter was blue.  
"Unown, return." He called back the pokemon.  
Everyone was pale.  
"See why I don't show him?" Adam said. "Normal unown can't do much alone. A shiny one is pretty strong, though."  
After a few more hours of explanation, everything was clear.  
"So…you guys all met each other on your journeys, and after realizing you had the same abilities, give or take, you decided to join each other and assist each other in their travels?" Misty said.  
"Pretty much." Cress said. "I hope you don't think we're all too weird."  
"No way! You guys are awesome!" Ash said.  
"Thank you." Rai said. Dawn shifted slightly in her seat. "Something wrong, dawn?" Adam said questioningly.  
"Just a couple questions." She said.  
"Ask away." Adam said.  
"Well, for one thing, you never said anything about ray." She said. "Why's he here with you guys?"  
They shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry, I phrased that wrong."  
"No, that's fine. It's just…Never mind. Can't really talk about it yet, ray would kill us if we did." Rai said  
Ash found this slightly suspicious, but shrugged it off.  
"And, uh, about that cane of yours…" Dawn said.  
"That? Old family heriloom. Useful thing. The jewel on the top is a starmie jewel from one long past. Serves as protection against harm." Adam said.  
"Didn't really help much against that mallet, from what I can see." Rai said, smirking.  
Adam stood up, glared at rai and swung the cane at him. He tried to duck, but there was a sound like snapping wood and a bang, and next thing ash knew Rai was lying on the floor groaning.  
"THAT'S what the cane does, rai, and I suggest you not mock it."  
Rai whimpered. Everyone sweatdropped at the display.  
"Well, it's getting close to nightfall. Why don't you guys take my tent? It's big enough to hold all of you."  
"Where would you sleep?" Dawn asked worriedly. "I couldn't make you sleep outside!"  
"No, I'll be fine."  
"If you're sure.."  
Mewgle watched with intrest, then an idea came to mind. She took Adam's cane, much to his surprise, and gave it to misty. "Here. So Brock doesn't get any ideas."  
"I'm not going to try anything!" Brock said defensively.  
"Yeah, now that she has that." Cress said. Ray snickered.  
Misty thanked mewgle, and turned to Adam. "You sure you won't need this?"  
Adam sighed. "I'm not a kid, I can take care of myself. You think you can handle that?"  
"It's a cane, how hard can it be to handle?" She said, swinging it around. Another CRA-BANG! Sound resonated, and she winced as a Rai-shaped hole made itself present in the ground.  
Cress sighed in relief. "Thank you. You have NO idea how long I have been wanting to do that." Everyone sweatdropped.

Later that night:  
Ash unzipped the tent, and took a step back. "He wasn't kidding. This tent is huge."  
"How is that even possible?" Misty asked.  
Ash pointed to the espeon sitting in the tent. "Might be using trick room."  
Everyone stared at ash.  
"Ash…Did you just have an idea?" Dawn said slowly.  
Misty grabbed ash's shoulders and began shaking him.  
"Who are you and what have you done with Ash Ketchum?!"  
Ash began to feel nauseous. Luckily, dawn dragged misty off him.  
"Ugh…can we just go to sleep? I'm tired." Piplup said.  
"Alright, Piplup." Dawn said, and unrolled her sleeping bag. Everyone did likewise.  
"G'night, everyone."  
"G'Night, ash."

-

-

*Cra-BANG!*  
"I was getting water!"  
"Shut up."

-

-

-

-

*Cra-BANG!*  
"DAMNIT BROCK!"

-

-  
-

*Cra-BANG!*  
Ash sighed. This was going to be a LOOOOONG night.


	6. Chapter 6

A couple notes. One, chaotic-iak, thanks a ton for the review. I do speak english fluently, I just have a lousy keyboard. I will also spend less time describing things. I just wanted you to see the change from a tv and bed in a room to...That. Anyway, The hall of origin is open to non legendaries, they just don't have the status. And I think that rotom, spiritomb and phione are legendaries, but it's up for debate. Also, I apologise for poor grammar, everyone, I plan on improving later chapters. Thanks!

Ash sat up, rubbing his head and blinking at the light. He hardly got any sleep, thanks to the constant yells of pain from brock.  
"Morning everyone! You guys sleep well?" A cheery voice rang out. Ash rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the light and saw mewgle standing there.  
"Yeah…" Ash said groggily.  
"Cmon, get up!" She said.  
"Give me a minute…" Ash said, plopping back down onto the bag.  
"If you don't get up, you'll miss breakfast!"  
That did the trick. Ash shot up, scaring pikachu awake, and ran out of the tent screaming "FOOOOOOOOD!"  
**"Typical ash…**" Pikachu said.  
Ash ran over to the table, and sat down, watching Adam at the grill.  
"You cook?" He asked in surprise.  
"Yep, and I'm good at it too." Adam said, watching the grill intently.  
"Food almost done?" Ash asked impatiently. "I'm hungry!"  
"Still cooking." Adam said.  
"But I want food now!" Ash yelled.  
A small cutting knife thunked into the tree behind him. Ash jumped in surprise. "You'll get food when it's done." Adam said as if he hadn't just chucked a knife at Ash.  
Ash was still trembling. "O-ok…."  
A yawn came from behind ash. "Morning Ash…" Dawn said groggily. "Up early?"  
"Food." Was ash's only reply.  
"Wait, Adam cooks?"  
"Yes, and he also has a temper."  
"What?" Dawn asked questioningly. Ash pointed to the knife in the tree. "Yeesh…"  
Adam pulled out a cutting board and set down a few vegetables. He drew a cutting knife, and slowly began to chop away at the vegetables. Then he began to pick up speed, until he was practically a blur, cutting the fruits and vegetables, seasoning the miltank hamburgers, and dicing the berries to be made into smoothies and pokeblock.  
"Wow." Dawn said.  
**"You don't want to know how many times he cut himself learning that."** Lucario said, plopping down.  
Soon enough, breakfast was done. And just in time. Ash had resorted to gnawing on leaves of nearby plants to last until it was done. And, he mused, they tasted quite bitter.

"Breakfast's ready!" Adam sang. Everyone jogged over and started chowing down.  
"This is great!" Cress said.  
"Mmm…these hamburgers are wonderful…" Misty said.  
"Mmmmph mmmph mmph hmm glrmmmph!" Mewgle said through her food.  
"Slow down, Mewgle." Prof. Twin said.  
"Mmmph!" Mewgle said.  
"Hey, Ash, you should try this custap berry shake!" Tia said, offering him her drink and smiling sweetly.  
"What?" Ash said, looking up from his hamburger. Misty quietly sighed in relief that ash was so dense.  
Ash looked at his pokemon. They were all fighting over who got the last pokeblock.  
**"Mine!**" Pikachu said.  
**"No, mine!"** Pignite said.  
Piplup took the opportunity to dive at the food and eat it before they could do anything. **"Haha! Mine!"**  
CRA-BANG!  
"I see Pikachu has found my cane."  
"Oh no! Piplup!" Dawn said worriedly. Everyone else was cracking up.  
Adam turned to Ash. "Ash, you never told us what you were doing here."  
"I wanted to go back and visit my friends. We were going to Canalave city, but we got lost."  
"Well, Ash, if you could actually read a map at all…"  
"CANDY!" Mewgle shrieked. "CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CAN-"

"SHUT UP!" Ray roared.  
Adam sweatdropped. "You guys…"  
"So, I heard that Dawn's a coordinator?" Tia said.  
"Yep! I wanna be the best coordinator of all time." Dawn said. "Maybe I could show you a few things!" She said cheerily.  
"Well…I'd like that, but I don't have any pokemon yet." Tia said sadly.  
"No need to worry, I can lend you one of my pokemon!" Dawn said, using her usual catchphrase.  
"Ash, you mentioned that you came back to visit your friends. Where were you before this?" Ray asked.  
"Let's see…I started in kanto, then went to johto, then went to hoenn, then sinnoh, then unova. Now I'm back in sinnoh for a visit." Ash said.  
Ray whistled. "Incidentally, how many frequent flyer miles do you have?"  
Ash blinked, then settled into a stupor. "I forgot to register for them…" He mumbled. Everyone facefaulted. Adam, sadly, was standing near the grill when it happened.  
"AUGH! MY FACE! I BROKE MY FACE!" Adam howled, clutching his charred face. "WATER! WATER!"  
**"Water gun!"** Oshawat said, blasting adam with water. This put him out, but had the unfortunate side effect of making him stumble back…  
And sit on the grill.  
Ash gasped in horror.  
"AAAAAAH!" Adam yelled, running around in pain. He tripped, and fell face first onto pikachu, who let off a thunderbolt.  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
*Smash*  
"WAAAAAAH!"  
*Bang*  
"OOOOOOOWWWCH!"  
*Boom*  
"AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

Roughly five minutes later, Adam collapsed to the ground, charred, mangled, bleeding and unconscious. Then a snorlax fell on him. Ash winced.  
Adam whimpered. "Why…."  
**"IT ATTRACTS THE READERS."** A voice boomed.  
"What the hell? Who are you and what are you talking about?" Misty yelled.  
**"I'M THE AUTHOR. THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW TIMES THE FOURTH WALL WILL BE BROKEN IN THIS STORY. I AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION. DON'T BOTHER THINKING ABOUT IT."** The awesome and totally cool and handsome voice continued.  
"You again?" Rai, the incredibly ugly high school flunkout groaned. "HEY! DON'T CHANGE MY DESCRIPTION LIKE THAT!"  
**"FINE. JEEZ. IT'S BACK."**  
"Thanks." She sighed. "Wait…SHE?!"  
**"HA. HA. HA. YOU ARE NOW BACK TO NORMAL. I SHALL NOW DEPART."** He boomed.  
"Hey! Come back!" Rai yelled.  
Silence.  
"Who was that?" Brock asked, him remaining silent for most of the ordeal.  
"Some random arse who likes tormenting us." Cress said. Then, a lightning bolt struck her.  
**" I CAN HEAR YOU!"**  
"My dear Cress, Insulting him may not be of your best interests." Prof. Twin said.  
Ash raised an eyebrow. This was weird. Though, he did seem to get into a lot of weird things himself.  
**"We should probably get Adam to the hospital."** Staraptor said, looking up from scratching the groaning Piplup.  
"Urgh…" Adam groaned, startling everyone. "I'm fine. Just hand me my cane…"  
"Can it heal you?" Ash asked.  
"No, you dolt, I need it to help me stand up. That's what a cane is for!" Adam said angrily.  
"Hey! I'm not a dolt!"  
"Just give me the cane."  
Ash, grumbling to himself, gave Adam the cane. Adam hauled himself to his feet, swaying before he recovered.  
"Ash, by the way, have you heard that you can retry the pokemon league?" Adam said, still swaying.  
Ash, a bit confused at the sudden change of topic, shook his head.  
"From what I can gather, you lost at this pokemon league. Why don't you retry?"  
Ash nearly jumped for joy at the opportunity.  
"And Misty, you want to be the greatest water pokemon trainer, right?" Adam asked.  
"Yeah…"  
"Wouldn't this allow you to achieve that goal?" He said, absentmindedly scratching at the glove-covered hand.  
"Yeah, it would…but…"  
"Cmon, Misty, it'll be fun!" Ash said.  
"Alright, fine." She said, hiding a grin.  
"And Brock…uh…what did Brock want to do again?" Adam asked.  
"He wants to be a pokemon breeder." Ash said.  
Adam blinked. "Ew. Well, that does seem like something Brock would do…"  
"I thought so too, but that means taking care of pokemon. Like nurse joy." Ash said, grinning.  
"Or professor Ivy." Misty added. At the mention of a name, Brock curled up into a ball, huddled against a tree.  
"Don't say that name…" Brock whispered in horror.  
"What, professor Ivy?"  
"Don't…"  
"What's all this about professor Ivy?" Rai said, waking up from his daydream.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GH!" Brock howled.  
Quick as a wink, Espeon, who had been watching the proceedings with interest, blasted brock with a psywave and knocked him into a tree.

Ash sweatdropped.

"With that…disturbing experience aside, that leaves Dawn." Adam said. Dawn shifted, uncomfortable, at all the eyes looking at her.  
"You completed all your contests, so there isn't much of a reason for you to go…"  
"I like contests, so I'm going and that's that!" Dawn said.  
Adam blinked. "Wow. That was quick."  
"Yep! C'mon Tia, I'm gonna show you how to preform in contests!" She said in her usual bubbly way, and ran off. Tia followed.  
"Girls…" Rai said.  
Adam stumbled, then caught himself. Mewgle noticed this, and flicked her hand. A white light surrounded adam, then it faded, leaving him good as new.  
Ash's jaw dropped. "How…"  
"Mewgle's ability. That's also why she wants to go to a pokemon center. She wants to help nurse joy." Prof. Twin explained.  
"Wow. That's awesome! What's yours?" Ash said excitedly.  
"It'll become apparent soon, by the looks of it." He answered calmly. He got up and left, apparently unwilling to continue the conversation, dragging a complaining mewgle away. She kicked him, and bolted off into the forest. The others ran off after her, leaving Adam and Ash.  
**"Adam, one thing. You said you were a pokemon trainer, right?**" Pikachu said.  
Adam nodded. Ash was unsure of where this was going.  
**"Then I challenge you to a battle!"** Pikachu yelled, his competitive side taking over.  
"Yeah!" Ash said.  
"Well, alright. Against whom, though?" Adam said.  
**"I just said, against you.**" Pikachu said, confused.  
Adam smirked, and something about this made pikachu's blood run cold.  
"If a battle against me's what you want, it's what you'll get." He said. And with that, he grabbed his cane and vanished, only to reappear a second later next to Pikachu, cane raised above him.  
**"GAH!**" Pikachu yelled, leaping to the side not a second too soon. **"What the hell!?"**  
"You said against me." Adam said, grinning evilly. Then he swiped at pikachu again, which Pikachu knocked away with an electro ball.  
Pikachu, seeing what he meant, cursed inwardly. **"Ash, we have to battle HIM. Not his pokemon, him."** Pikachu said.  
"What? I can't attack a human!" Ash said.  
"Go ahead. Try." Adam said, still smirking.  
"If you say so…Pikachu, Iron tail!" He yelled. Pikachu ran forward, tail glowing and hardening to steel like properties, and swiped at Adam, landing a direct hit…  
On the wall of energy that blocked his path.** "What!?"**  
"What!?"  
"Wrong move." Adam said, and the wall of energy burst, allowing Pikachu to pass through, and faceplant onto the ground. Adam raised his cane again.  
"Pikachu, dodge it!" Ash said, suddenly overcome with worry at facing this new foe.  
Pikachu leapt away, but Adam wasn't aiming at him. What he aimed at was the tree Pikachu was next to, which collapsed, and burst into splinters upon further prompting from Adam.  
'What's he doing…' Ash thought. Then the splinters arranged themselves standing up, surrounding pikachu. 'Spikes!' ash thought.  
"Pikachu, thunderbolt on adam!" Ash yelled, a plan coming to mind. Adam started, breaking his concentration and allowing pikachu to escape, and the bolt connected.  
What Ash expected to see was Adam fall on the ground, weakened or unconscious. What he did not expect, however, was for adam to fall on the ground…then get up and grin.  
"Thank you, Ash. You just doomed yourself." And adam slammed the cane against the ground, and the sky practically split as a massive lightning bolt thudded down where Pikachu was just a minute ago.  
**"The hell was that?"** Pikachu gasped, catching his breath after the near-collision.  
"That, Pikachu, was my ability. Whatever attack hits me, I change not type, like keckleon, but moves."  
"What?" Ash said, confused.  
"Ash, when hit with a move, I can use ALL moves of that type class. Thanks to you, I can now use any electric type move. ANY. ONE." He said, finishing on a dramatic note. Then he waved his cane, and shot forward, surrounded by a fiery red light.  
"Pikachu, dodge It!" Ash yelled in horror. He didn't want to see if it actually was as fiery as it looked.  
Too late. The attack connected, smashing Pikachu into the ground.  
"Pikachu! No!" Ash yelled.  
"Fusion flare. Fun move." Adam said calmly. His eyes widened as Pikachu got up, and blasted a thunder, which he countered with a bolt strike.  
**"You forgot one thing. You can use any of my type's moves, but I have experience!"** Pikachu said. With that, he blasted a thunderbolt at Adam, which connected and sent Adam down a step.  
"Pikachu, Quick attack!" Ash said, taking advantage of his distraction. Pikachu shot off, and stepped instantly on the sharp spikes, making him yelp in pain and rub his aching feet.  
"Ha ha!" Adam said, and swatted Pikachu with his cane, earning another Cra-BANG!

**"AAAAIIIEEE! THAT STINGS!"** Pikachu yelled, hopping around.

"Volt tackle, pikachu!"  
"What?"  
**"TAKE THIS!**" Pikachu said, and whammed into Adam with enough force that the ground cracked.  
"Quick attack!"  
Pikachu circled adam, slamming into him if he got up.  
Adam grinned. "As they say, If I cant win, no one can!" And began to glow with a bright light.  
Ash, realizing what was going to happen, screamed "Pikachu! Get out of there!"  
"SELF DESTRUCT!"  
The resulting cacophony of sound, light, pain and fire could be summed up by one word.  
Kaboom.  
"PIKACHU!" Ash yelled, panicking. His vision was obscured by the smoke.  
"Staraptor, go! Use gust to clear that smoke!" He said, throwing a pokeball.  
**"Alright, ash!**" Staraptor said, flapping it's wings and blowing the dirt and dust into the forest.  
The smoke cleared, and revealed a large crater. Ash ran over, and pikachu stumbled up over the lip of the crater, and was instantly scooped up by Ash.  
"You ok, buddy?" Ash asked Pikachu with worry.  
**"Yeah…I won!"** Pikachu said.  
"Yeah, I didn't doubt it for a second!" Ash lied. "Where's Adam?  
Pikachu froze. **"He wasn't in the crater…"**  
"Oh no…You don't think…"

END OF CHAPTER!

I love giving cliffhangers to people. Don't hate me!


	7. A wild Team Rocket appeared!

Pikachu froze. **"He wasn't in the crater…"**

"Oh no…You don't think…"

"Yes Ash, that's what Misty says too. You don't think." Said a voice from behind them.

Ash and Pikachu jumped in fright, then spun around to face Adam, utterly unharmed.

"Do you really think I would destroy myself as a last ditch move?"

Ash scratched his head and grinned mareepishly.

"Didn't think of that. Wait, did you just insult me?" Ash asked angrily.

Adam ignored him. "Pikachu, what you faced from the start wasn't me. It was a substitute. I wanted to test your abilities."

**"WHAT?!"**

"Congratulations, you put all that effort into besting a dummy that was one-tenth as strong as me."

"A…A tenth?" Ash said weakly. If it was so difficult besting him at one tenth…

"Heh, I'm tougher than you expected, right? ALL of us are like that." Adam said, leaving Ash speechless.

"Still, I'm very impressed with your abilites. Usually, people who take a full on Fusion bolt from me end up unconscious for a month. But you'll need to get stronger to beat the elite four, and me."

"Which is why we're gonna train as hard as possible!" Ash said. He looked down at the yellow electric mouse in his arms. "I should find mewgle first, though, Pikachu's pretty beaten up." He said.

**"Yes. Yes I am."** Pikachu coughed out weakly.

"Mewgle's in the forest somewhere. I suggest using Staraptor." Adam said.

**"Finally, another appearance for me in this story!"** Staraptor said. A lightning bolt struck her on the head.

"NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL FOR YOU!" A voice boomed.

"Well, now that Staraptor's fried, just wander through the forest." Adam said.

"Alright, more walking for me…" Ash said tiredly, as he set off to the forest.

"Hey, Ash?" Adam yelled after them.

"Yes?"

"I won."

Ash facefaulted.

A few minutes later, Ash was in the forest, utterly and totally lost. As usual.

**"Ash, Can't you read a map?**" Pikachu said, irritated and tired.

"Of course I can!"

**"Why are we lost then?"**

"We don't have a map."

Pikachu sweatdropped.

A flash of pink bolted in front of ash and pikachu.

Ash jumped. "What was that?"

**"No idea."**

"ME!" Mewgle shrieked, dropping down from the trees.

"AH! MEWGLE! DON'T STARTLE ME LIKE THAT!" Ash yelled.

Pikachu let off an involuntary thunderbolt at mewgle, who leaped to the side.

"He he! Sorry!" Mewgle laughed.

Ash sighed. "Pikachu and Staraptor are kinda hurt from-"

"You got into a fight with Adam, didn't you Pikachu." Mewgle said.

**"How did you…"**

"I know him well enough to see the aftermath of what he does. You should be lucky you didn't get hit with a really strong attack." Mewgle said.

**"I got hit with a full on fusion bolt."** Pikachu said deadpan.

"How did you not get beaten up then?"

"He did. But Pikachu has experience. He managed to beat one of his substitutes!"

"Beat him, or use self destruct?"

"Self destruct.**"** Ash admitted.

"Wow, you're strong." Mewgle said, impressed.

**"Pikachu in pain here!"** Pikachu weakly coughed.

Ash grinned mareepishly. "Sorry, buddy. Mewgle, could you heal him?"

Mewgle giggled. "Sure!" and rapped Pikachu on the head, and his wounds started to close.

"Staraptor too. She got fried." Ash said bluntly.

"Random lightning bolt from a presumably-insane author who controls reality?" Mewgle asked.

"How did you know?"

**"HEY. I'M NOT PRESUMABLY INSANE! I'M CERTIFIABLY INSANE, I CAN SHOW YOU THE REPORT. YEESH, SOME PEOPLE."** The voice boomed.

**"Can I just be healed?**" Staraptor asked, bored of the proceedings.

Mewgle rapped her on the head and she recovered.

**"Wait a minute, can't staraptor use roost?"** Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, why?"

**"Couldn't she have healed herself, then?"**

Ash, Staraptor and mewgle facefaulted.

Ash's stomach grumbled. "I'm hungry. We should go eat!"

"**Ash, you JUST ate!**" Staraptor said.

"Your point?" Ash asked. Staraptor sweatdropped.

Ash bolted off, the thought of food in his mind overpowering everything. It does seem like something's missing, though…

Behind some bushes, two people, one with blue hair and one with red, and a meowth watched the entire ordeal.

"I can't belive that twerp managed to foil us AGAIN!" Jessie hissed.

"We just got a promotion, too…" James pouted, his lip quivering.

"Yeah, but did ya see that goil the twoip was with? She healed that Staraptor of his like it wasn't nothin'!

"And they said there were more of them, too!" Jessie said, a glint in her eyes. "And if they can do that, imagine what their pokemon will be like!"

"I don't know about this…If they are so strong, wouldn't their Pokemon be even stronger and blast us off again?" James said.

"Ah, but we have our secret weapon…" Jessie said.

"And, the twoips have gotta have food that we can grab!" The scratch cat pokemon said, grinning.

"You're right! Let's go!" James said, and they snuck away under the bushes.

Unnoticed to them all, a large black shadow watched them from behind.

"Hm…These idiots might be useful…" It said, and melted away.  
-

"Piplup, use whirlpool!" Dawn shouted.

**"Right away!**" The little blue penguin shouted, and conjoured up a large twirling vortex of water.

"Now, use bubblebeam on it!" The blunette ordered.

A large stream of big blue bubbles burst forth from the pokemon. (Hey, four words that begin with the same letter! I know there's a word that describes it, but I cant remember.)

They twirled around the whirlpool, colliding and bursting into sparkles.

"Spin!" Dawn ordered, and the piplup twirled in place, making the sparkles twist around it until it looked like a replica of the whirlpool.

"Now piplup, just like we trained!" Dawn said again, excitement visible in her voice. The piplup used peck, and spun ever faster, until the blue sparkles had a white line, the blur of piplup's peck glow, in the center, then sent the sparkles and itself spiraling up to the whirlpool, forming an hourglass, one half of sparkles and one half of the whirlpool, piplup visible in the center, and then the hourglass burst in a fabulous array of colors.

The piplup dropped to the ground gracefully.

"Great job, Piplup! Here, have a poffin!" Dawn said, overjoyed, and extending her arm out holding a poffin.

Piplup ate the poffin in one bite. **"Yum!"**

"See, Tia, it isn't that difficult." Dawn said.

"Alright, if you say so."

"You'll do fine." Ray said, patting her on the back.

"No need to worry!" Dawn said.

Piplup sweatdropped. **"Word of advice: When she says that, worry."**

"Hey guys!" A voice called out, running up to them.

"Hey Ash." Dawn said.

"I got Pikachu and Staraptor healed by mewgle." Ash said.

"Why'd you need to heal them?" Dawn asked, confused.

"We got in a battle with Adam." Ash said.

"He has two Pokemon, how did you lose?" Dawn asked.

"Simple, Ash sucks at battling." Misty said.

Ash ignored her, something that surprised Dawn and misty. Was he getting more mature?

"No, not with his pokemon, with HIM."

"That just reinforces misty's point. How did you lose?" Cress said.

**"His cane hurts. A lot.**" Pikachu said, summing everything up.

"Isn't that illegal?" Misty asked.

"We consented to it, without realizing what he meant. He asked if we wanted to battle HIM." Ash explained.

**"Ha! Loser, you got beaten by a kid with a cane!"** Infernape said.

Cra-BANG!

"I advise you not call me a loser, Infernape." Adam said, walking up to the flame monkey, who was flailing on the ground in pain.

"Hey, you can't do that!" Misty said, angry.

"Had I not done that, Pikachu would have done far worse." Adam said, calmly.

**"He's right. I probably would have shocked him so hard that his heart would stop, then start again."** Pikachu said, glaring at Infernape. Infernape shuddered.

There was a sudden rustling from the bushes.

"Who's there?" Rai asked.

"Not them again…" Misty groaned.

"Listen, is that a certain duo I hear?" An obnoxious female voice called out.  
"It's shrieking to me loud and clear." An equally obnoxious male voice called out. Three black shadow's leapt out from behind the bushes.  
"On the wind!"  
"Past the stars!"  
"In your ears!" A meowth called out, suprising the new people in the group. "A talking meowth?" Cress asked, suprised.

"**DONT INTERRUPT OUR MOTTO!"** Jessie screeched, her face twisting into a horrid mask of rage. "Ahem..."

"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"  
"Dashing hope and putting fear in it's place!"  
"A rose by any other name smells just as good as this food." Jessie said, noticing the table spread that Adam had set out for a snack, anticipating Ash's stomach.  
"When everything's stolen, our work is complete."  
"Jessie!"  
"James!  
"Me-owth, now that's a name!"  
"Putting the do-gooders in their place!"  
"And we're team rocket…"  
"And We're in your face!" They all called out.

The group stood petrified for a moment, staring. Then, a small smile broke across ray's features, and then this happened:

"WAHAHAAHAH! OH MY GOD! THAT'S YOUR MOTTO? THAT? WAHAHAH!" Prof. Twin laughed. Adam was rolling on the ground in laughter, and ray was forced to sit down so he didn't faint.

A knot appeared on Jessie's forehead.

"HEY! DON'T MOCK OUR MOTTO!"

"YEAH, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TWERPS COME UP WITH SOMETHING MORE TERRIFYING!" James yelled, his face red as a tomato berry.

"Ghastly, scare them." Rai said, flinging a dusk ball.

The pokemon reappeared for a moment, then vanished, then reappeared right in front of them, face stretched out and making an unearthly screech so horrible plants around it wilted.

**"Ah! Help me!"** Pikachu shrieked, hiding behind Ash, who hid behind Misty, who hid behind Brock, who decided to stay where he was but cover his eyes.

Team rocket didn't move. Except for James, who was running around in circles screaming.

"Scary enough?" Rai asked, smirking.

"Ah, we arent scared of some gas ball." Jessie said.

"And we've got the perfect weapon to counter you twoips and catch your pokemon!" Meowth said, pressing a button on a remote.

The ground started shaking.

"This isn't good…" Ray said, stumbling.

Then, a massive foot smashed down right in front of team rocket.

"AH!" Misty, Ash, Brock, Mewgle, and everyone else shrieked.

Team rocket, now a blur, dashed up the foot and landed in a cockpit…ON TOP OF A GIANT ROBOT.

The robot, immensely tall, was shaped like a box with the cockpit on top of a head like figure. Two giant arms and legs extended from it, and it was pitch black and coated in spikes.

"Where do you even get these giant robots?" Ash asked.

"Team rocket has a lot of money, twoip." Meowth said.

"Well, if that's so, why not just use better traps?" Adam asked.

"Huh?" The trio asked.

"Sleeping gas, neurotoxins, bombs, guns, all of that. Why not use them, rather than a giant honking robot?" Adam continued.

"HONK!" Said the robot.  
"Never thought of it, to be honest." James said, grinning mareepishly.

"JAMES! STOP TALKING, MORE SMASHING!" Jessie yelled, grabbing a joystick and swinging a robot arm down, impacting the area where Ash was a second ago.

"Pikachu, thunderbolt!" Ash yelled.

"Take this, you losers!" Pikachu said, unleashing a lightning bolt on the robot…and doing zilch damage.

"HA! We electric proofed the robot! And fire, poison, ghost, ice, dark, steel, water, grass, stone, and dragon proofed it too, So none of your stupid moves are going to work!"

"You forgot flying." Ash said. "Staraptor, brave bird!"

"WHEEEEEEE!" Staraptor said, loving the thrill of the air, and then was fried by a lighting bolt.

"HA! You twerps didn't think we came unprepared, did you?"

"Firing the Ice Beam Cannons!" Meowth said, pressing yet another big red button.

"Look out!" Misty called, diving to the side. "Starmie, Psyduck, Dewgong, Corsula, come on out!" She yelled, throwing out some pokeballs.

"You too, Infernape, Pignite, Gliscor, Staravia and oshawatt!" Ash yelled.

"Go, Togekiss, Buneary, and Mamoswine!" Dawn called, tossing more pokeballs.

"Croagunk, Sudowoodo, Chansey, Go!" Brock shouted as well.

All the pokemon appeared or ran forward from their vantage points at once, calling a war cry or a shout of readiness. Except, of course…

"Psyduck." Psyduck said.

"Adam, I thought you said that people could understand pokemon with you around!" Misty yelled, angry for no reason.

"They can, this makes no sense…"

"Unless Psyduck is just saying 'Psyduck' Without any actual reason to it." Rai suggested.

**"That does sound like Psyduck…"** Starmie said.

"Moving on from that, Lucario and Espeon, get to it!" Adam shouted, throwing more pokeballs.

"I have no pokemon but I'm going to keep chucking the pokeballs at you!" Mewgle yelled, throwing Pokeballs at the robot. Everyone sweatdropped.  
Then a pokeball popped open.

"No way…" Ash said.

"Impossible!" Tia said, clutching Ash's hand. Misty fumed enough to signify a smokescreen attack.


	8. Chapter 8

"I have no pokemon but I'm going to keep chucking the pokeballs at you!" Mewgle yelled, throwing Pokeballs at the robot. Everyone sweatdropped.  
Then a pokeball popped open.

"No way…" Ash said.

"Impossible!" Tia said, clutching Ash's hand. Misty fumed enough to signify a smokescreen attack.

The pokemon that had materialized from the pokeball was none other than a Porygon 2.

"I thought those were banned!" Rai said.

"You can't get a seziure from reading fan fiction, Rai." Cress said.

"Unless it's My Immortal." Adam said. Everyone, including the rockets, shuddered.

"I have a Porygon!" Mewgle sang, dancing around. "Porygon 2, signal beam!"

**"Command accepted. Initialising Move."** Porygon 2 said robotically. Then it blasted the rockets with a signal beam, screwing up their systems for a moment.

"GAH! YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Jessie screeched. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE MESS WITH TEAM ROCKET!"

"Firing the psychic blast!" Meowth said, hammering a button. A near-transparent wave of pink energy rolled out.

"Lucario, Dark pulse." Adam said, a hint of reluctance in his voice.

A blast of darkness rolled out from Lucario, dissipating the psychic blast but making Espeon and Adam shiver.

**"Ugh…I feel violated." Espeon said.**

"I need a shower now." Adam said, shaking as if trying to rid himself of an irritating slimy bug.

Pikachu noticed the behavior, and filed it away for further notice.

"Pikachu, Quick attack! Gliscor, Tackle! Staravia, fly! Oshawatt, Use razor shell on the arm! Infernape, Mach Punch! Pignite, weaken the arm for Oshawatt!" Ash yelled.

"Piplup, Use bubblebeam to distract them! Buneary, Ice beam! Mamoswine, Ice shard, then Eat it!" Dawn yelled. Adam looked at dawn, confused.

"Eat the ice shard? Whatever. Lucario, Aura Sphere! Espeon, use toxic wherever the robot is going to step!" Adam shouted.

"Croagunk, brick break! Chansey, Pound it to submission, Step on it's feet! Sudowoodo, Deflect attacks coming at us!" Brock shouted.

"Starmie, rapid spin! Corsola, Tackle! Dewgong, Try a Sheer Cold!

"Robo-Bird! Use that signal beam thing!" Mewgle shouted.  
"Arcanine. Go take those fools down." Prof. Twin said, his violet eyes sparkling, as he released an Arcanine. It leapt forward, fangs on fire.

Adam turned to Cress and Rai. "Use pokeball throw!" He shouted. The duo sweatdropped, but did as bidden.

All the Pokemon and People unleashed their attacks in a malestorm of destruction. Infernape and Pikachu bolted over to the robot, and smashed into it, creating a crater.

"AH! MEOWTH, I THOUGHT THIS WAS INVINCIBLE!" Jessie yelled.  
"NOT AGAINST NORMAL AND FIGHTING ATTACKS!" Meowth yelled back. Jessie began to strangle Meowth, but then the rest of the attacks connected.

**"Ha! Take this!"** Pignite yelled, toasting the arm.  
**"Have a taste of my Scalchop!"** Oshawatt yelled, throwing the shell and removing a good portion of the arm.  
"This is why I bought so many pokeballs, Cress!" Rai yelled.  
"YOU ANTICIPATED THIS?!" She screamed.  
Gliscor slammed into the robot's torso, bouncing off and falling to the ground but dealing damage. Corsola followed Gliscor's example. Starmie nearly decapitated the robot with a rapid spin, but gave it a haircut instead. Staravia dove down and cut part of the robot. Piplup spat bubbles at the robot, distracting it as it delivered a crushing thunder punch to Piplup, and Ice beam hit the robot in the head, leading to an ice fang attack from the robot. Mamoswine ate an ice shard, and got badass ice body armor, super powering it's attacks. It promptly began destroying the robot.

All of Misty's attacks connected at the same time, sending the robot flying backward. It skidded for a bit, before flipping upright and fired several hyper beams at the pokemon. In true Team Rocket fashion, every single one of them missed.

"Feel the power of the Aura!" Lucario said dramatically, sending an aura sphere into the leg of the robot, unbalancing it. Meowth noticed the foot was raised up, and slammed it into Lucario. Lucario then was kicked into a mountain.

"LUCARIO!" Adam screamed, overcome with worry for his pokemon.

"GOAAAAL!" Team rocket shouted. They set the foot down…Right onto the puddle of toxic that was created.

"EEW! I HAVE GOO ON MY SHOE!" James wailed.

Lucario used extreme speed to bolt back over to the fight, bruised but not out of it, where Adam ordered him to use continuous aura spheres.

The toxic began eating through the foot. Chansey pounded the foot, shattering it. Croagunk Brick Breaked (?) The robot's chest, making it fall down. Dewgong's Sheer Cold connected, freezing the robot and all the surrounding ground in a second.

"Easier than expected." Prof. Twin said.

Then a giant electric fist clocked him in the head.

"PROFESSOR!" Misty yelled in horror.

"Yes?" He asked, standing behind her.

Misty screamed. "Ah! Professor, how did you do that?"

"I'm not without powers, Misty." He said, his violet eyes sparkling.

The robot stood up, if anything larger than before, at 50 feet tall, it's two ridiculously long arms and legs swinging wildly, supercharged, and a new giant cannon pointed at them.

"Oh no, this isn't gonna be-" Adam started to say, before he was interrupted by a flamethrower roasting him.

"Infernape, get in the cannon!" Ash yelled.

Infernape leapt up the robot, jumped in the cannon and jumped down. Then he started tearing it apart from the inside, before a blast of water nearly drowned him and flushed him out.

"The itsy bitsy Ariados climbed up the waterspout…" James sang.

"Let's introduce deym to some o' our patented bug spray, then!" Meowth said, hammering yet ANOTHER button.

A gust of silver wind buffeted the pokemon, knocking Croagunk, Chansey, Gliscor and all of Dawn's pokemon unconscious, besides Piplup.

"ARGH!" Misty yelled, the wind tearing at her skin.  
"Here Misty, Catch!" Ash yelled, throwing his jacket to Misty, who used it to block the rest of the glittery wind.  
"Thanks, Ash." She said, smiling.  
"You're welcome." He said, and then diverted his attention to the robot.  
The Robot stomped around, swung trees and fired cannons at the pokemon, all of which hardly did any damage. To be fair, none of the pokemon did any damage to them, the robot was moving far too dangerously.

"HA HA! WE'RE WINNING!" Jessie sang.

Then the robot stepped on Psyduck. Misty, Ash and Brock went pale, while Dawn and Adam and Mewgle gasped in horror.

"Oh no, Psyduck's hurt!"

"Oh no!" Jessie screamed.

"What, they care?" Adam said confused.

"Psyduck isn't hurt, they gave it a headache." Ash said, fear evident in his voice, Pikachu and Misty's pokemon were backing away slowly.

**"Psy….**" Came a cry.

"Psy? He wasn't just saying his name there…" Adam said.

**"TAKE THS, YOU CADS! PSYCHIC!"** Came an angry cry from beneath the foot. The robot seized up as Psyduck's ludicrously powerful psychic attack took place, and sent the robot flying up, then slammed it into the ground repeatedly until it looked like a ball of scrap metal, then rent apart part of the ground like a canyon, and smashed the lower part of the robot between it. Then a tree whacked the robot cockpit, sending it off and flying into the sky, only to be seized again and slammed into a mountain, letting the limp Jessie, James and Meowth fall down the mountain.

"…"

"…"  
"What the ****?" Rai articulated for all the pokemon and people.

**"That's why we all fear Psyduck."** Pikachu said.

"No shit, Sherlock…" Ray said, mouth hanging open.

"Where the hell were you during this?" Adam asked.

"Getting tech from the robot." Ray said, holding up a computer.

"I have no idea what this is, though, it's encrypted. I'll get to work on it." Ray said.

"Hey! Don't act like we weren't even there!" Jessie screamed, running back to them. Meowth and James soon caught up, panting with exhaustion.

"Yeah! *wheeze* we ain't *wheeze* out of the *wheeze* fight yet!" Meowth said, struggling for breath.

**"Psyduck, the most incompetent pokemon on earth, just slammed you into a mountain. I would call that being out of the fight."** Dewgong said.

"Shut it, you stupid star!" Meowth said.

"Let's see just how cocky you are after this!" James said, pointing a bazooka at them. Ash and company screamed and ducked for cover, but it didn't fire a missile.

"Net launcher, go!" James yelled, firing a cluster of nets from the bazooka. James flew backward as a result of the recoil, but no one cared. Poor James.

The net collided with the pokemon, wrapping them all up. James immediately stuffed Pikachu in a glass case. Pikachu attempted to shock itself out of the case, but had no effect.

"Everyone, return your pokemon!" Prof. Twin said, recalling Arcanine.  
Everyone did as said.  
"I don't have a pokeball for Pikachu!" Ash said.  
"Just use the pokemon to get Pikachu out." Prof. Twin said.  
"Ha! Ya twoips think yer so smart! Get a load of our Vaccum gun!" Meowth yelled, and sucked up all the pokeballs.  
"NO!" Everyone yelled in horror.  
"We'd like to stick around and play…" Jesssie said.

"But we've got to go, I say!" James said, using a horrible rhyme and british accent.

"See ya'll again another day!" Meowth cackled, before they hopped into a giant meowth headed balloon hidden in the trees.

"How didn't I notice that before?" Adam said, scratching his head.

"It isn't that inconspicuous." Ray said, equally confused.

"Ta-ta! See you!" They all laughed, taking off at a fast pace.

"Oh no! Pikachu!" Ash yelled.

**"ASH!"** Pikachu yelled.

Ash ran forward, leaving the others behind.

"Ash, wait!" Misty said, trying to catch up.

"PIKACHU!" Ash screamed, leaping on the bottom of the balloon and hanging on, before they sailed out of reach.

"Ash! Wait!" Everyone yelled, but it was too late.

"Argh!" Ash yelled, watching the ground get farther away. There was nothing to do but wait.

Meanwhile, the Rockets didn't even notice Ash hanging on.

"Hahaha! We finally got the twoips pokemon, and he couldn't do anything about it!" Meowth said gleefully.  
"Just think what the boss will want with all these rare pokemon!" Jessie said, just as happy.  
"I don't know, Jessie, what makes you think that the boss will even want these pokemon?" James said.  
Jessie slapped him across the face. "You idiot, tons of things! Think about the possibilities! The power he could get from all of these pokemon!"  
Meowth went into another boss fantasy, the first time since the Unova region. "Those pokemon would be his servants! Just think of it! The boss is just waking up. "Another boring day. More work for me to do." Meowth said, in a foul imitation of Giovanni. "And right as he goes to do his paperwork on the computa, Boom! The power goes out! But he just goes over and turns on the Pikachu power machine!" Meowth sang. "Meowth and his friends are such great employees. I'm going to reward them with everything I have!" He said, in a horrible imitation again. "And he could use that Staraptor of his for easy transport and getaways! Think how easy things would be! All of those pokemon could be put in a huge army, and make Team Rocket unstoppable!" Meowth said, getting more hyper by the second. "And then he'll be so happy with us he'll give us everything, and all those pokemon will warm him into his retiyament! We'll be rich!" Meowth finished.

"We're gonna be ri-ich, We're gonna be ri-ich!" The trio sang stupidly, doing a ridiculous dance. Then Ash's head popped over the basket.

"Not gonna happen!" Ash yelled.

**"Ash! You're here!"** Pikachu called.

"Ah! It's the twerp!" The rockets screeched.

"Meowth, that's right!" Ash yelled, and leaped into the basket.

"Wait a minute, you can't even hurt us! You don't have any pokemon!" Jessie said, realizing they had the advantage for once.

"This is payback for all the times you blasted us off!" Meowth yelled, and swiped at Ash with fury swipes. Ash ducked, and Meowth ended up scratching Jessie.

"ARGH!" Jessie screeched, clutching her face. "YOU STUPID CAT! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" She screamed, turning red with rage, and punched Meowth in the face, causing him to faint.

"I don't even need pokemon to get rid of you idiots!" Ash said, laughing. "You're doing it yourself!"  
"Oh yeah?" James said angrily. "We have some old friends we'd like you to meet!"  
"Seviper, Yanmega, Take care of business!"

"**Yess, Master Jesssie!"** Serviper hissed.

**"Not him again!**" Yanmega said.

"Carnivine, Cacnea, Mime Jr, Get him!" James yelled.

"**HI JAMES!"** Carnivine yelled, glomping James.

**"I would do that too, but it isn't the time right now!**" Cacnea said.

**"HI JAMES!"** Mime. Jr mimicked.

**"Mimesss are ssssilent."** Seviper said, wanting the junior clown-thing to shut up.

Ash looked surprised. "You got your old pokemon back?"

"We weren't doing nuthin' there while ya hanged out with that girlfriend twoip of yours!" Meowth said, grinning evilly.

"HEY! SHE ISN'T MY GIRLFRIEND!" Ash yelled, turning red.

"Suuuuuree…" Everyone, including the bagged pokemon, said.

"Touchy touchy, hmm….?" Seviper said.

"Sorry, but we're gonna have to separate the two of you! Everyone, attack!" Jessie yelled. All the pokemon lunged at ash.

"Ash is in trouble!" Misty said, worriedly.  
"Don't worry, he can take care of himself." Adam said. "He handled the legendary birds, these fools can't be much of a problem."  
"He doesn't have any pokemon, Adam!" Tia said.  
Adam's eyes widened. "That poses a problem. But I can send them down again with my-" He looked for his cane, only to find it wasn't there. "Where's my cane?" He said. Then he noticed a burned twig on the ground.  
"MY CANE!" He yelled in horror. Then his face fell. "They broke my cane…" He said, quietly and emotionlessly.  
"Now what do we do?" Dawn said.  
"Does anyone have any pokemon?" Brock asked.  
"No, they stole them!" Rai said, pointing at the rapidly accelerating balloon.  
Brock was looking quite worried. "Just great, now what are we going to-" He was interrupted by a silver flash shooting by him. "Argh!" He said, falling to the ground.  
"What we do, Brock, is get the balloon back." Adam said, holding another kitchen knife.  
"Wait, what do you-" Prof. Twin started to say, then seemed to put two and two together. "Oh. Good idea. Everyone, start throwing!" He yelled, grabbing a sharp stick and hurling it at the balloon.  
Soon enough, everyone had found a large enough pile of sharp objects, and were currently hurling as many of them as possible at the balloon.

Ash ducked, dodging the incoming poison needle attack, and got Seviper to whack Carnivine with it. He leapt behind Wobuffet, who took the scratch attack from Meowth and got blasted with a counter.  
"Ha ha!" Ash taunted. A tackle attack from Cacnea hit him in the stomach, and he slumped against the corner, hurt.  
**"ASH, NO!"** Pikachu yelled.  
With some effort, Ash ignored the throbbing pain in his stomach, and started jumping in the corner, shaking the balloon.  
"ACK! STOP THAT!" Jessie yelled. "Yanmega, Silver Wind!"  
Ash ducked again, and the blast hit the flame powering the balloon.  
"ARGH! STOP IT YOU STUPID BUG, THE WHOLE BALLOONS GONNA CRASH!" Jessie screamed, holding onto a side of the balloon.  
"Sorry." Yanmega said, ashamed.  
Meanwhile, Ash had taken the distraction to release Pikachu from the case.  
**"Hey, Morons!"** Pikachu shouted.  
"Hm? ACK! HE'S OUT!" Meowth yelled.  
Pikachu's cheeks began sparking for a thunderbolt to end all thunderbolts, and the Rockets began panicking.  
**"WAIT! IF YOU SHOCK US NOW, WE'LL ALL FALL TO OUR DEATHS!"** Wobuffet screamed. Pikachu stopped sparking, but glared at the Rockets.  
"Heave!" Ash shouted, tossing the bag of pokeballs out of the balloon.  
"ARGH! STOP THROWING THOSE POKEBALLS!" The rockets yelled.  
**"I GOT IT! I GOT IT!"** Yanmega said, frantically trying to catch the pokeballs. One hit him on the head, and Mamoswine was released.  
"Ready to go, Dawn!" Mamoswine said, only to look down and find itself suspended several miles above the air. Then it plummeted, trapping the poor bug beneath it and disappearing beneath the trees. Everyone ran to the sides of the balloon.  
**"Wow, long way down."** Cacnea whistled.  
**"I haven't even heard them hit the ground."** Pikachu said.  
"Maybe they landed on a soft patch of leaves?" Meowth said hopefully.  
A loud snapping sound and a tremendous BANG indicated that they had not, in fact, landed on a soft patch of leaves.  
**"He got it, all right…"** Carnivine said weakly.  
"YOU STUPID TWERPS SQUASHED MY BUG BUDDY!" Jessie yelled. "SEVIPER, POISON TAIL!"  
"Gladly!" Seviper said, it's tail glowing purple and swinging it at the stunned Ash, who had no time to do anything but watch the tail rapidly approach…  
And fall to the ground as Seviper writhed and hissed in pain, a small scalpel sticking out of the tail.  
"Wha-?!" Jessie yelled, mystified and worried.  
James ran out to the right side of the balloon.  
"Hey, Jess, what are all those dots?" James said, pointing at a cluster of rapidly approaching specks.  
"I'm not sure…" Jessie said.  
"ACK! THOSE AREN'T SPECKS, THOSE ARE KNIVES! THE TWERPS ARE TRYING TO KILL US!" Meowth yelled.  
**"HIT THE DECK!"** Carnivine yelled.  
**"HIT THE DECK!"** Mime Jr. yelled, oblivious to the danger. Everyone ducked, and James increased the flame and sent the balloon up to avoid the projectiles.  
After a few tense moments, everyone determined that they had indeed missed.  
"HA! YOU TWERPS COULDN'T EVEN HIT THE GROUND IF YOU TRIED!" Jessie taunted.  
"MAYBE NOT, BUT YOU WILL!" Mewgle shouted back.  
Before they could ask what she meant by that, the balloon gave a horrible creaking sound.  
"Uh oh." James said. Then the balloon basket collapsed and they all fell.  
The group of pokemon and people fell screaming to their apparent doom in the forest floor.

The group continued chucking items at the balloon until every last one of their reserves was exhausted. Then they could only watch and hope that they collided. Their hopes were dashed when an irritating female voice rang out:  
"HA! YOU COULDN'T EVEN HIT THE GROUND IF YOU TRIED!"  
"WE DON'T HAVE TO, YOU WILL!" Mewgle yelled back.  
Dawn looked at Mewgle strangely. "What do you mean by that?"  
"Just wait." She said, grinning from ear to ear. A second later, they saw the bottom of the balloon split open and them all tumble out.  
"They're falling!" Cress screamed.  
"Isn't that the idea?" Mewgle asked, confused. Cress developed a tick in her eye.  
"The idea was for Team Rocket to fall…NOT FOR ASH AND PIKACHU TO PLUMMET WITH THEM!" She screamed.  
"Maybe they'll fall on leaves?" Brock asked.  
Once again, a loud cracking sound and a sickening smack indicated that they did not, after all, land on leaves.  
"We should probably go check on them." Brock said.  
"Right." Rai said, and they all ran off.

Ash screamed the entire way down, clutching madly for a handhold as the ground rushed up to meet them with open arms. And also hard rocky surfaces. Team rocket found this out the hard way, their combined weight sending them dropping like a rock. Ash closed his eyes, bracing himself for bone-breaking impact-  
And it never came. Ash opened his eyes to find himself dangling by his pants on a tree branch, Pikachu clutched in his arms. He was suspended literally inches from the ground, looking at a terrorized caterpie.  
Ash grinned slightly. "Heh, sorry 'bout that little guy." He said, petting the caterpillar. He managed to convince the bug to pull him off the branch with string shot, and stood up, looking around the clearing. He had landed in a rather empty section of the forest: Team Rocket lay a few feet away, in an unconscious heap. It was pure luck that he didn't faceplant onto the hard stone. Looking down, he saw Pikachu was unconscious, a bruise forming on his forehead. A branch must have whipped him in the face, Ash thought. There was nothing to do for him now, so-  
**"-The sky, mister!"** a voice came from beneath him.  
"What?" He said, looking down.  
**"You just fell out of the sky, mister! If it wasn't for that tree branch, you would be like them."** The caterpie said, pointing to the lump of flesh that was Team Rocket.** "Oh, wait. You can't understand me, anyway."** The caterpie said dejectedly, looking down.  
"Actually, I can." Ash said, surprised at how weak his voice sounded.  
**"What? Were you talking to me?"** The caterpie asked, staring at him.  
"Yep!" Ash said, recovering some of his pep, which was currently splattered all over the floor.  
**"You can understand me? This is so cool! Wait till I tell my friends that I found a human that can understand me!" **The little caterpie said, bouncing (worming?) up and down.** "First there's this huge ruckus, and a giant robot appears, and everyone ran away but I watched and then it blew up and there was a balloon and then it exploded and you fell out of the SKY and you can talk to me oh my god this is so cool!"** The caterpie said, without taking a single breath. Then it slumped to the floor, gasping for air.  
"Slow down there, little guy!" Ash said worriedly.  
**"Sorry about that. I talk a lot when I get excited."** The caterpie said, grinning.  
"You said that everyone told you to run. Do you know where your mom and dad are?" He asked.  
**"Yeah! Our hole is right over there.**" The caterpie said, pointing to a hole by a graying tree. **"It's pretty small, though, so with how big you are you might not fit."**  
"Wait, you want me to go in there?" Ash asked, confused.  
**"How else do you expect to spend the night in the forest? The nocturnal pokemon are none too friendly here."** The caterpie said.  
"My friends are coming to help me out, but thanks for the offer." Ash said. He instantly wished he could take it back, because the caterpie looked so disappointed.  
**"Oh…alright then."** He said sadly.  
"But you can stay with us if you want!" Ash said hurriedly.  
"I can?! THANK YOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" The caterpie said, crawling up his shirt.  
"No problem little guy. What's your name?" Ash asked, laughing slightly from the tickling sensation the caterpie gave him. He immediately regretted it, feeling a sharp pain in his chest.  
**"Wormie."** Wormie said, looking up.  
Just then, the bushes shook, and Dawn ran from it, a twig stuck in her hair. "Ash, there you are!" She panted. She did a double take once she looked over the ten year old and his pokemon. "Oh Arceus, what happened to Pikachu? And who's the caterpie?" She said.  
"Pikachu got hit with a branch on the way down. This little guy is Wormie, he helped me get down from the tree." He said, petting Wormie.  
"Oh no! And I'm all out of potions, too…" Dawn said.  
Ash's face contorted into one of worry. "Hang on, buddy…" He said, stroking the yellow mouse.  
Dawn seemed like she was going to say something, then she seemed to notice something and her eyes widened. "Oh Arceus, Ash! Your foot!" She said, pointing at it in horror. Ash looked down, and instantly felt like he was going to vomit. Feet didn't bend like that, did they?  
Even Wormie looked sick, and the caterpie didn't HAVE feet to begin with.  
Ash opened his mouth, but everything started to blur and swirl together, and he slumped to the floor, unconscious. The last thing he heard before all thought faded from his mind was the rustling of some bushes, and a worried cry of "Ash!" Then everything blacked out.

Adam paced back and forth, hand to his head.  
"Arceus Damnit, why would I be stuck with this?" He mumbled, depressed. "I'm the most inexperienced legendary of them all, and I get trusted with protecting the life of the one boy who can save the planet. And then what happens? A bunch of people with the IQ of lemons manage to steal all our pokemon and Ash, and my only thought is to throw KNIVES at the balloon when it's several miles in the air as revenge for what? Breaking a stick?" He paused in his pacing to laugh. It wasn't a happy laugh, however. It was a resigned laugh: The laugh of someone who had too much stress placed on them in a single moment, the laugh of someone who very nearly could have killed the worlds only hope. He hated himself for this.  
"…..!" Came a muffled voice from the bushes. Adam turned to the forest, confused, and was promptly bowled over by a herd of people carrying a limp Ash and Pikachu.  
'..Limp?' He thought, and his heart dropped into his stomach. "Oh. No no no, this can't be happening…" He said weakly, and bolted after them. They stopped at a tent, setting Ash down.  
Adam strode forward, shoving his fellow legendaries and friends out of the way to get a good look.  
Pikachu was stirring slightly, recovering from the fall.  
Ash wasn't moving.  
Adam's eyes widened in horror, only for it to be instantly dispelled when Ash's chest rose, then fell with a large gasp of air, before returning to it's stagnant state.  
So, Ash was simply unconscious. He wasn't dead.  
"Mewgle, how are they?" Adam said, trying to refrain from letting emotion slip into his voice.  
Mew looked up, and for once in her life she looked serious. "Pikachu will be fine. A simple bruise is all he has. I can heal him, but I suggest you get some Oran berries just to be sure."  
"And Ash?" Latias said, looking for all the life in the world that she didn't want to hear the answer.  
Mewg remained silent for a moment, and then spoke. "I'm amazed that he managed to stay conscious as long as Wormie said he did. There isn't any life threatening damage, but his foot and part of his leg are broken." She said.  
Rayquaza let out a low whistle. "Fractured or Chipped?" He asked.  
"I said broken. His leg and foot are, and I state this in the gentlest of terms, split so thoroughly that the pieces of bone could be used as toothpicks." She stated bluntly. Cresselia clapped a hand to her mouth and Misty gave a small shriek.  
"I can fix him, but he'll be out for a while. We're just lucky there was a tree there to catch him." Mewgle continued.  
Adam had heard enough. He put his hands in his pockets, and slowly walked away.  
_'Failure…"_ A voice hissed in his mind._ "Pathetic…You can't even be with someone for more than five minutes before you hurt them."_  
"Shut it." He said, pinching the gloved hand. The voice became silent.  
"Adam?" Someone said from behind them. "Adam, what's wrong?"  
"What do you think is wrong, Cresselia?" He barked, turning on her. "All I do is fail. What have I done that's worthwhile? Beat up his electric rat? Nearly get him killed over a stick?" He hissed.  
Cresselia looked sympathetic. "Adam, it wasn't your fault…"  
"OF COURSE IT WAS! MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS TO THROW KNIVES AT A MILE-HIGH BALLOON, WHERE IT EASILY COULD HAVE KILLED HIM, SEND HIM PLUMMETING INTO A FOREST AND THEN SIT THERE AND WAIT?!" He screamed.  
"What else could we have done?" Cresselia asked.  
"Hm, I don't know, maybe send the balloon down with psychic powers? Or create a net while he falls? Or psychically retrieve the pokeballs so Staraptor could have helped him? Or maybe have our flying legendaries, I don't know, FLY THERE?!" He said with increasing hysteria.  
"Adam, you really don't think that we would let anything happen to Ash, do you?"  
Adam raised his eyebrow questioningly.  
"If worst came to worst, Mewtwo already had a plan to catch Ash when he fell."  
"Well, that happened, and I didn't happen to see any science experiments fly by when he fell!"  
"Where do you think the tree came in?"  
Adam's eyes widened. "That was him?" He asked in surprise.  
"Yes, it was. And it wasn't your fault anyway, and Ash would agree. I have to go now." Cress said, and left Adam sitting next to the trees, lost in his thoughts.

-  
A while before, the Rocket Trio had recovered, and marveling in their luck, ran as fast as possible from the area. They found, by another miracle, their pokemon carrying the Pokeballs, and were instantly reunited in a joyful reunion. Yanmega, however, was not in much shape to move. That was when a man dressed in Icy blue and black showed up, his face unseen. He offered to heal the pokemon, and they soon got into a discussion of what had happened. He seemed quite surprised when he heard their story, and explained to them that he was after the exact same group. They got into a business deal over their targets.  
"So, this will help us defeat those twerps?" Jessie asked eagerly.  
_"Exactly…"_ his raspy voice said, sounding like claws on a chalkboard. "Just remember, use the crystal on the boy."  
Jessie and James shivered. The air had gotten 50 degrees colder since they were standing there, and judging by the ice forming on the grass, it wasn't their imagination.  
"Yessir. We'll take care of those twerps, and you give us the money." James said.  
_"Good. Now, go prepare…"_ It hissed.  
The trio ran off, leaving the shadow to itself. Two more shadows joined it, and they faded into oblivion, the thunder rumbling dramatically.

A single flower head, frozen solid, fell to the floor, dead, before it melted to nothing.

At the same time, a large group of people wearing Dark Grey clothing stood atop a mountain in the rain. Each one of these men and women had a horrible aura of death and murder around them, simply by looking at them would be enough to give the elderly a heart attack out of fear. They were all criminals, trained assassins, or even the insane murderers society despised so much. The worst of them, however, sat atop a pillar, gazing. Even the stars shivered underneath his gaze.  
"Sir, we have found the targets." A grunt reported.  
"Good…" Said the emotionless voice, sitting cloaked by, well, a cloak.  
"Your orders, sir?"  
"Kill them, Painfully, when they reach the first gym."  
"Bryson will never stand for that, sir!" The grunt said.  
The man in the shadow glared, red visible beneath the blackness, and rose. The grunt cowered, crying "Sorry, sir! Sorry! Of course, I will carry out your-" He wailed, before he was cut off.  
"Listen to me. I do not give a SHIT if Bryson will stand for it. Kill him, too, when they arrive there. If you can, kill the residents. Painfully. We must eradicate them before they prove themselves a threat. Am I clear?" He stated emotionlessly, his actions showing that he would be perfectly willing to kill this man.  
"Yes…Sir…" The grunt croaked.  
"Go then. And tell me when we are prepared." He hissed, tossing the poor man to the ground. The grunt scrambled away as fast as he could.  
The cloaked man turned to his men.

"TEAM MILLENIA. TEAM MILLENIA. TEAM MILLENIA." They chanted.  
"Team millenia…Will prevail!" He shouted, his voice echoing off the mountains.


	9. Psychotic Friends and Evil Teams

Ash opened his eyes, blinking at the light. For a moment he didn't recognise where he was, then he remembered: This was his tent. He yawned and stood up, but then stumbled and fell again, a sharp pain in his ankle. There was a rustling next to him, and he looked over. Pikachu turned over, disturbed by the noise, and looked at Ash with half closed eyes.  
**"Hi, Ash.**" He said sleepily, then his eyes flew open. Ash would have laughed at his expression had he not found himself unable to speak.  
**"ASH? ASH IS AWAKE, EVERYONE!**" Pikachu yelled, running outside of the tent. There was the sound of pounding feet, and the tent was literally RIPPED apart by a tanned hand.  
"Ash?" Brock said, then his face broke into a wide grin. "He's awake!"  
Instantly, Ash was mobbed by his friends. Misty grabbed him by his shoulders and spun him to face her.  
"Ash Ketchum, don't you EVER do that to me-er, us, again!" She said, seemingly angry.  
Ash grinned. "I won't Misty."  
**"Ash! Good to see you're awake!"** Staraptor sang, swooping down and perching next to him. Next thing he knew, he was tackled to the ground by his pokemon. After exchanging a few greetings and returning all his pokemon, Ash stood up, and limped out of the now dilapidated tent.  
"Ash, don't try to move, you're still hurt." Cress said, worry crossing her face.  
"It's just a sprained ankle, I'm fine." Ash said, ignoring her advice.  
"Sprained ankle? Understatement of the century. Ash, you splintered your foot into dust!" Rai said. Ash paled.  
"Way to keep it low key, Rai." Cress said.  
"Thank you. I pride myself upon that." He said, oblivious to her sarcasm. Cress sweatdropped.  
"Mewgle healed you, though. You should thank her!" Mewgle said.  
Ash was confused as to why she was speaking in the third person. "Alright then, Ash thanks Mewgle for being so kind to Ash." He said.  
"Why are you speaking in third person, Ash?" Mewgle asked.  
"But- but you were just- and I was-" Ash stammered.  
"I think he has brain damage!" Mewgle whispered.  
Ash sighed. "Forget it. Where's Wormie?"  
Misty cocked her head. "Wormie?"  
"The caterpie who helped Ash down from the tree." Mewgle explained. Misty froze.  
"B-Bug?! EW! GROSS!" She yelled.  
"What's wrong with bugs?" Mewgle asked.  
"Misty has a fear of bugs." Brock explained.  
"Why?" Dawn asked.  
"NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!" Misty roared, scaring the crap out of everyone.  
"Like I said, where's Wormie?" Ash asked again, recovering.  
There was a sudden yell of horror from across the camp.  
"Found him." Ray said. "Cress, Rai, carry Ash."  
"But I'm fine!" Ash protested. He took a step to prove his point, but yelled in pain and toppled to the floor.  
**"Ash, don't strain yourself!"** Pikachu said. Before Ash could protest further, Cress and Rai lifted him up and hauled him across the camp like a two-by-four, Pikachu perching on Ash's stomach.  
Soon enough, they got to the sound of the yells. Adam was clinging to a tree and screaming his head off, a very bemused Wormie watching the incident and utterly confused as to what was happening to him.  
"BUG! BUG! GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEE!" He wailed. Everyone cracked up watching him. Adam, noticing he had visitors, turned to glare at them, but noticed Ash and broke into a grin, and leaped off the tree.  
"Ash, you're awake!" He said.  
"And you're standing next to a bug." Brock pointed out. Adam looked down. Sure enough, Wormie was crawling up his leg. Adam let out a girlish shriek and flung the confused bug away, where it smacked Brock in the face.  
Adam scratched the back of his head and grinned mareepishly. "Sorry about that, I really can't stand bugs. They're nice, but…they really don't agree with me."  
Ash grinned. "That's fine. Misty doesn't like bugs either, you two have something in common!"  
Adam's face fell suddenly, and he kicked the ground absentmindedly.  
"What's wrong?" Brock asked, recovering from the bug-slap he received.  
"…Nothing. Let's go." He said, and began walking off.  
"Go where?" Ash asked, confused.  
"Canalave. You said you wanted to collect the gym badges, am I correct?" Adam said.  
"Yeah, but where are we anyway?" Ash said.  
Ray blinked. "Good question…"  
Adam sighed. "THIS is why we need maps, Ray. Lucky I have my pokegear on me…" He said, waving a finger and a phone-like device floated out of his pocket. Everyone blinked in surprise, and Cress and Prof. Twin looked furious.  
"How did you do that?" Ash asked, amazed.  
Adam did a double-take, realizing his mistake. "Oh! Uh…do what?" He asked, obviously trying to stave off the question.  
"The levitating phone thing!" Mewgle said. Rai discreetly stamped on her foot, making her clamp up.  
Adam glared at Mewgle. "Oh, that? Well, you see…uh…" He trailed off.  
"Are you a psychic or something?" Dawn said.  
"Yes! Exactly that!" Adam said, grabbing hold of the opportunity. "Anyway, back to the map!" He said, making it clear he wanted nothing further to do with the subject. "According to this, we're in…" He began, then did a double take. "This can't possibly be right!" He said.  
"What is it?" Misty asked, curious.  
Adam sighed, obviously exasperated. "According to this, we're in…" He said, and then raised a hand to his face and said it so quietly that no one heard.  
**"What'd you say**?" Piplup asked.  
"Route 210." He mumlbed.  
"ROUTE 210?!" Cress yelled.  
"That's on the other side of mount Coronet!" Dawn said.  
"ASH, JUST HOW BAD A NAVIGATOR ARE YOU?" Misty yelled.  
**"Very.**" Pikachu said.  
"Hold on. Ash might be a bad navigator, but it's impossible to get here without going through a mountain. Have you made any trips through the caves?" Tia said, stepping to Ash's defense. Somewhat.  
"No, actually. We haven't." Brock said.  
"Well then, given Brock's lack of memory of going through caves, It would be reasonable to assume that either the navigation system is entirely wrong, or you encountered Uxie and managed to provoke the Intelligence pokemon into removing the entire ordeal, which would be quite needless." Prof. Twin said, ranting obliviously to the fact that his voice had the sophomoric effect of Jigglypuff's sing attack.  
"Furthermore, there are several other possibilities, some of which may result in-"  
"BOOOOOORRRRRIIIIING!" Mewgle yelled, waking everyone up. Prof. Twin developed a tick in his eye and rolled his fingers into a fist for a moment, before relaxing his hand.  
Adam and surprisingly, Ash, were the only ones who had stayed fully conscious during the ordeal. "I dunno, I don't think Uxie would erase our minds for something like that." Ash said.  
"Besides, even if he did, he wouldn't leave that visible gap in their memories. And the PokeNav can't be wrong, it's a direct transmission from space broadcasting stations. You would need to warp space to divert…it's…signals…." Adam trailed off. "Ray, can I talk to you? Privately?" He said, and dragged Ray off into the bushes. Ash sweatdropped.  
**"Something isn't right here.**" Pikachu said.  
**"Hey, what's everyone talking about?**" Wormie asked, finally recovering enough to wake up.  
"EEK! BUG!" Misty instantly hid behind Rai.  
"Location crisis. We somehow are on route 210, when we didn't even go through mount Coronet." Brock explained.  
Wormie looked as confused as a caterpillar could look.** "I dunno what those places are, but me and mom and dad live in Viridian Forest. Is Rou…r….Rute 210 there?"** He asked.  
"Uh, no. Viridian Forest is in the Kanto Region. This is Sinnoh." Rai said  
Wormie shook his head. **"Nu-uh, this is Kanto. How else could I be here if it was this synoh place?"**  
"That's what we're trying to figure out." Cress said, deep in thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

"Stop dragging me, for heavens sake, I can walk!" Rayquaza yelled, tired of being dragged in the dirt.  
Adam didn't answer, so Rayquaza spat a dragon breath at him, sending him flying into a tree.  
Adam groaned and tried to stand up, failing miserably.  
"What exactly is so important, Adam?" Rayquaza said, irritated at Adam's behavior.  
"Remember what I said? You would need to warp SPACE to divert the PokeNav's signals?" Adam said, finally managing to stand up, using the tree as support.  
"Yes, so what?" Rayquaza asked impatiently.  
"You would need to warp SPACE." Adam repeated.  
"Yes….?" Rayquaza asked, now thoroughly confused.  
"Isn't there something there that can CONTROL space itself? Perhaps something that would use that to fight with something that controls TIME?" Adam asked, now impatient.  
"…I think you're trying to give me clues here…" Rayquaza said, scratching his chin.  
Adam sighed. "Rayquaza, I think that-"  
"Wait, wait, I think I have it." Rayquaza interrupted. "I think what you're talking about is…A Pokemon!" He said triumphantly.  
Adam facefaulted. "Yes, Rayquaza. The thing I am talking about is a pokemon, that controls space." He said. Rayquaza looked blank. "It had a game and two movies with it in it." He said. Rayquaza still looked blank. "It fights with Dialga." Still nothing. "It has Pearls, and starts with the letter P." STILL NOTHING. Adam, now thoroughly ticked off, said "Paaaaaaalllll…." stretching the name out, attempting to get Rayquaza to sound it out.

"MANAPHY!" Rayquaza trumpeted. Adam facefaulted.  
"NO, YOU IDIOT! PALKIA!" He yelled. Realization dawned upon Rayquaza's face.  
"Oh…." He said stupidly.  
"I think Palkia has something to do with this. Altering dimensions is his business." Adam explained.  
"Why would he do this, though?" Rayquaza asked.  
"I…Have no idea." Adam admitted. "But it's the most probable theory I've heard so far."  
"Should we tell the others?" Rayquaza asked. Seeing the look on Adam's face, he clarified further. "I mean Latias and the others."  
"No." Adam said firmly.  
"Why?" Rayquaza asked.  
"Rayquaza, what do you think the first thing Cresselia will do when she hears this is?"  
"Blame Darkrai."  
"What will she do when Darkrai denies it?"  
"Get angry?"  
"And what happens when the Lunar Swan gets angry?"  
Rayquaza paled, remembering the infamous 'Origin Hall Battleaxe Massacre.'  
"All those innocent Pidgey…" He sobbed. "They were so YOUNG!"  
"Do we want that happening again?"  
"NO." Rayquaza hurriedly said.  
"Then we don't tell the others."  
"Wait, why not just tell everyone else and not Cresselia?"  
"Because then Cresselia will think we aren't telling her something important, which is true, and she will get angry. And do we want Cresselia to get angry?"  
"NO. But, wait, if we don't tell anyone but we have the secret, won't Cresselia figure out that we aren't telling them something, and they all get angry at us? What do we do then?" Rayquaza asked.  
Adam took a deep breath. "In that case, we beg Arceus to protect us from their wrath."  
Rayquaza snorted. "When Giratina gets angry, everyone runs to hide in their homes. When CRESSELIA gets angry, Arceus himself will be shivering in his closet."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Brock screamed, as he was flung onto the ground.  
"DIE!" Cresselia screamed in turn, stamping on Brock's face so hard the ground cracked. She then proceeded to lift him up by his shirt collar, and screamed: "YOU MISERABLE ***** PERVERT, DIE AND GO TO THE DISTORTION WORLD!" Beating him against a tree with every syllable, while Ash and company watched in fascinated horror, utterly helpless to the situation. She then began beating Brock into the ground, who by now had long since stopped screaming, and wound up and threw him like a Frisbee into a tree, and grabbed a branch and smacked him with it. "I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU TO A BLOODY FLESHY PULP, STAB YOU IN THE STOMACH, RIP OUT YOUR EYES, AND HAVE MEWGLE REVIVE YOU JUST SO I CAN DO IT AGAIN!" She screeched, dropping the bruised and bloody Brock to the ground, kicked him in the ribs, and stormed off, then spun back around and whacked Brock in the head with the branch hard enough to snap it in two.  
Everyone winced, while Mewgle and Dawn stifled a small scream. Cress spun toward their hiding place in the bushes, and screeched: "WHAT ARE YOU ****** LOOKING AT!?"  
"N-nothing…" Mewgle whispered.  
"DID I ASK FOR YOU TO TALK?!" She screamed, lifting Mewgle up by the scruff of her neck. There was a sudden roar, a sound like fire crackling, and a cloud of dust, and it parted to reveal a nearly unconscious Cress hanging upside down on a tree, surrounded in purple light, green fire crackling along her singed hair and burned dress and on the scorched ground, Ray standing nearby, holding up Adam as a human shield, and Prof. Twin looking absolutely furious as he checked over Mewgle.  
"Urk…thanks…." Mewgle gasped, rubbing her sore neck.  
"No problem." Ray said, lowering Adam to the ground slowly.  
"Be quiet. Don't touch that, it's sore. You might cause damage." Prof. Twin said, showing emotion for one of the few times since they had been in their company.  
"What on earth happened?" Adam asked, noting the destroyed section of the battleground.  
"Brock tried to hit on Cress." Rai said simply.  
**"My eyes will never unsee that scene…."** Wormie whispered in horror.  
"Is Brock Suicidal!?" Ray yelled. Recovering his composure, he started again. "A few basic rules we learned being with Cress: Number one is to never flirt with her."  
"May that Jr. Trainer forever rest in peace." Tia said mournfully.  
"Pieces." Mewgle corrected. Brock blanched and passed out again.  
"Number two is to never irritate or provoke her in any way, shape or form. Number three is to always remember her birthday. And finally, the most important one is to NEVER, EVER call her fat. Even if she asks you if her dress makes her look fat. Apparently, Brock broke rule number one."  
Ash attempted to change the subject. "Did you find out how this happened? The random shift from where we were before, I mean."  
"No. To be honest, we have as much idea as to how this happened as you do." Ray said.  
"Something doesn't feel right though…" Tia said, shuddering.  
"I know, I can feel it too." Misty said.  
"I don't care HOW far away we are from Canalave, nothing's going to stop me from getting that badge!" Ash said, and attempted to set off running, but yelled in pain and collapsed to the floor.  
"Ash!" Misty said, worried, and helped him to his feet. "You idiot, you can't walk yet!"  
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot about that…" Ash said. Adam sweatdropped. "He forgot about having a broken foot." He said cynically.  
"But it still doesn't matter, because I'm getting that badge no matter what!" Ash stated with remarkable enthusiasm.  
**"In case you haven't noticed, Ash, you can't walk.**" Piplup said, finally deciding to speak after several chapters of silence.  
"Adam, you said you were psychic, right?" Misty asked.  
"Yes, why?" He answered, obviously not liking where this discussion was going.  
"Well then, I think I have a plan on how Ash can get there." She said, grinning evilly.  
"What do you mean?" He asked, confused, then looked at what Misty was staring at.  
"Oh no. You can't possibly think that I'm going to do that!" Adam said.  
"Oh, come on, Adam, what's the big deal about it?" Tia joined in.  
"No way! Nu-Uh! Not happening."  
**"Come on, it'll be fine! You want Ash to get to the gym, don't you?"** Pikachu said, grinning.  
"Pikachu? I thought you were on my side!"  
**"Revenge is sweet."**  
"It doesn't matter, because no matter WHAT you do, I'm not going to be tricked into this!"  
A few minutes later…  
"I can't believe you tricked me into this." Adam grumbled, levitating several chairs that Ash and company were sitting on, relaxing. The only one that wasn't occupied was being used to support Ash's legs. Pikachu and Piplup were sitting on their trainers shoulders.  
"Well, it does make travel faster." Tia said.  
"How come I can't sit on the chair?" Adam asked.  
"Because I need it for my leg." Ash said. Adam began to fume.  
They floated along for quite a while in silence, before Mewgle suddenly burst into song.  
"I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves! I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes! I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves"  
This continued for roughly five minutes, with Mewgle getting louder at every opportunity, before Adam had had enough. He flung Mewgle's chair into the air, leaving them with blissful silence. Something was off, though…  
"Aren't there trainers on this route?" Pikachu asked.  
"There should be…this is very odd." Brock said.  
"Solaceon town is just ahead, so we can ask them if they've noticed anything." Adam said.  
"And get some lunch. I'm hungry!" Ash said.  
"Figures, since you've been out for two days." Misty said.  
"Hey, Misty didn't yell at him for once!" Mewgle said, dropping back down.  
Misty turned her levitating seat around to face Mewgle, an unnerving glint in her eye. "What was that?"  
Mewgle shrunk back. "Nothing…"  
After a while more, Solaceon town came into view. But once again, something was off.  
"It's really quiet." Ash said, scratching his head in confusion  
"Doesn't matter, they're probably all asleep or wrangling bulls or something. Stupid cowboys." Adam said.  
"No, this is weird." Tia said, looking around uneasily. There was no sound whatsoever. Not even the leaves were blowing.  
"Let's go find someone. Maybe they know what's happening." Adam said, walking over to a small brown house. He rapped on the door, but found no answer.  
"Maybe no one's home?" Ray said.  
Adam turned the doorknob, and to his surprise, it wasn't locked. "It's open. Let's go inside."  
"I just know that something is going to go horribly wrong…" Pikachu muttered, as everyone went inside. Ash was floated in, much to his joy.  
"Oh my." Prof. Twin said simply, examining the house. The walls were damp, and several of the floorboards were broken. The coffee table in the center of the house was lying on it's side, and the TV was smashed. Several bugs scuttled around the floor.  
"Ew!" Adam and Misty said at the same time, leaping outside to escape the bugs.  
Prof. Twin took a step forward, and stepped in something wet. He pulled his foot back, but whatever the liquid was stuck to his shoe.  
"Urgh!" He said in disgust, yanking his foot free.  
"What the hell happened to this place?" Rai said, looking around the home.  
"More importantly, what's THAT?" Ash said, pointing at the goop.  
It was a reddish-black, and looked gooey and thick. It was occasionally bubbling. Prof. Twin took out a test tube, and took a sample of the goop. "I'm going to figure out what exactly it is, and how it got here." he said, upon seeing Ash's questioning look.  
**"This is getting creepy, we should go."** Pikachu said.  
"Right." Everyone said, began walking off.  
Ash noticed that Ray wasn't moving.  
"Ray, what are you staring at?" He asked.  
"G-g-guh-guh…" He stammered.  
"Say it, don't spray it." Ash said.  
"GHOST!" He wailed, pointing a shaking finger.  
"Huh?" Cress said, following his gaze. "I don't see anyth-" She started, then froze.  
A demonic cackling echoed throughout the room.  
"Oh dear Arceus, what is that?"  
"Run!" Ash said, attempting to float out the door.  
The door slammed shut, and the windows closed too. Then all light in the room went out. The darkness was so thick you could feel it.  
"O-ok, don't panic…" Ash said, scared. Then something tapped him on the shoulder.  
Ash froze. "Misty, please tell me that's you tapping me on the shoulder?" He said weakly.  
"I thought that was you tapping me…" She said.  
"Then that means…" Everyone said, turning to where they thought Ash was. (Ray, funnily enough, turned to face a coffee pot.)  
A pair of purple hands appeared, and the demented laughing started up again.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone screamed, frantically trying to escape.  
"Wait a minute…purple hands?" Rai said, and snapped his fingers. The darkness flickered, and disappeared.  
"Aw man, you spoiled the gag." Something said, depressedly.  
"Who's there?" Adam said, still shaking.  
The hands waggled a bit, and revealed themselves to belong to none other than a haunter.  
"It was just a ghost pokemon?" Prof. Twin asked, embarrassed.  
"Wait a minute, Haunter, is that you?"  
The haunter blinked, and turned to face Ash.  
**"Huh? What are you-"** The haunter paused, and rubbed his eyes. **"Ash?"** He asked tentatively.  
"Yeah!" Ash said.  
The haunter instantly broke into a (wider) grin. "Ash!" He said, trying to hug him, but bounced off the field of energy around Ash.  
**"What the- Wait a minute, how are you floating? Why can't I hug you?"** Haunter asked, confused, then noticed Adam. **"Ash, look out! A psychic's got you! I'll get him!**" Haunter yelled.  
"Haunter, no, wait, don't!" Ash wailed, but it was to no avail. The purple ghost sped towards Adam, hands coated in a shadow claw, and swiped at him, making Adam lose his concentration.  
"AGH!" Ash yelled, falling to the floor. "My leg!"  
**"HAUNTER YOU IDIOT, ASH BROKE HIS LEG AND ADAM WAS SUPPORTING HIM!**" Pikachu yelled, cheeks sparking.  
**"What? Oh, sorry Ash.**" Haunter said, looking unhappy.  
"It's alright, Haunter. You didn't know." Ash said, struggling to get to his feet. "Besides, my leg is getting better too."  
**"Thanks Ash."** Haunter said, looking a bit happier, then looked confused**. "Wait, did you just understand me?"** He asked.  
"Yeah, I can understand pokemon now, Haunter." Ash said, finally managing to maintain balance, with some support from Adam.  
Haunter looked skeptical. **"Fine then, let me test. Cinnamon-coated-apples. Now what did I just say?"**  
"Cinnamon-Coated-Apples." Ash recited.  
Haunters eyes widened to comical porportions. **"You DID understand me!"** He said, and gave Ash a hug, this time succeeding.  
"Cinnamon-Coated-Apples? Why would you…you know what, don't bother." Adam said.  
"Haunter, how did you get here? Weren't you back with Sabrina?" Ash asked.  
**"I don't know. I left the gym for a little bit and went to scare some passing trainers, but there weren't any. I went a bit further out, and I found this town, but it was quiet. A ghost town."**  
"Literally." Mewgle said, laughing a bit at her own joke.  
Haunter grinned, glad to have found someone with a bit of humor.  
"Haunter, you went a LOT further than a little bit. Solaceon town is in Sinnoh." Ash said.  
**"Hey, look, Ash leveled up his navigation skills!"** Pikachu said, laughing. Ash fumed.  
"Oh come on, I'm not THAT bad at navigating!" He said indignantly.  
"Yes you are." Everyone said. Ash sulked.  
Haunter laughed a bit, but then became confused. **"I didn't cross any seas, how did I end up here?"**  
Everyone looked at each other. "That's what we're trying to figure out. We were near Canalave before." Misty said.  
**"Really? That's weird."** Haunter said, scratching his head with his disembodied hand.  
"Continue with the story, Haunter." Rai said, tapping his foot impatiently.  
**"Right."** Haunter said. He suddenly looked grim.** "Anyway, after I arrived here, I decided to explore." Haunter said, causing a flashback. "I looked in every house, every room, every space within town, there was no one. I was about to check the Pokemon Center, but I couldn't get in."** Haunter said.  
"Can't you fade through walls?" Wormie asked.  
**"Not here, for some reason. If I try…"** Haunter trailed off.  
"What happens when you try?" Misty asked.  
Haunter curled up into a ball, blue lines running down his face. **"I don't want to talk about it…**"  
"Oh great, another Brock." Misty groaned.  
"One was far more than enough." Prof. Twin agreed. Brock pouted.  
**"Anyway!"** Haunter said, recovering. **"After that, I decided to look for a place to spend the night. This house wasn't as messed up as the other ones, so I slept here. Then you came in, and you know the rest."** Haunter said.  
"Know what?" Mewgle asked.  
Haunter went through the story entirely again.  
"..Huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening." Mewgle said. Everyone fell over anime-style.  
**"So, who are they?"** Haunter asked.  
"Long story. But that's not important right now." Adam said hurriedly. "That pokemon center, we should try and get in." He said.  
**"Alright then.**" Haunter said. They all walked out.  
Feet falling like raindrops onto a barren sidewalk, they ran to the orange building.  
"Looks normal." Adam commented, looking over the building. Sure enough, there was nothing out of the ordinary.  
"Anything inside?" Prof. Twin asked.  
**"Can't see."** Piplup said, balancing on the edge of the window**. "It looks totally dark in there."**  
Mewgle gasped. "Then there's only one logical answer… A bunch of ghosts kidnapped everyone, trapped them in the center and sealed them in the spirit world for eternity!" She said. Everyone sweatdropped.  
**"Actually, I think they closed the blinds.**" Piplup said, scratching his head.  
Dawn tugged on the doors. "They're locked. I think someone really doesn't want us to get in."  
**"I really don't want to go in there…"** Wormie mumbled, inching away.  
"That's alright. I can stay out here with you if you want." Tia said. Wormie hurriedly nodded.  
"Well, how can we enter now?" Misty asked, exasperated.  
"Well, first, we shimmy up the drainpipe." Ray said, pointing to a rusty grey pipe on the side of the building. "Then we detach the air vents, and squeeze through them. We break down the air conditioning pipe inside, and drop down silently. Then-"  
"LUCARIO, USE AURA SPHERE!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Nurse Joy sat shivering behind her desk, hugging her Chansey. For all she knew, the entire town could be locked up in this pokemon center, and she wouldn't know. Five hours ago, the power went out, and a bunch of uniformed people barged in. Several trainers had mistaken them for Team Rocket or Galactic.  
She didn't know where they were now.  
"Thump. Thump. Thump." Came a noise. Nurse Joy felt her heartbeat increase drastically. She hid her Chansey and herself under the table, hoping they would pass by.  
"Heh, Tom. Those trainers really were easy to get rid of, weren't they?" Came a gruff voice.  
"Yeh. Them's be sleepin' wit' teh fishies tomorrow." Someone answered back. There was a smack.  
"Damnit, Tom, how many times do I have to tell you to speak properly?" Another smack.  
Nurse Joy shivered. Were they saying they killed the trainers? She scooted back a bit. Big mistake.  
"What was that?" The voice she now recognized as Tom asked.  
There was more thudding of footsteps, and a head peeked under the table. A disgusting grey-bearded face grinned out from between cracked lips, revealing grungy teeth. "Oi, Lookie what we found 'ere!" He said, grabbing Nurse Joy by her jacket and dragged her out.  
The other man grinned from beneath his hood. "A hider. Perhaps you are good for something, Tom."  
"Thanks!…" He said. "Wait uh minute…hey!" He said indignantly.  
"So, Nurse Joy, you decided to hide from us. Whatever for?" He said, stroking her chin. Nurse Joy shuddered.  
"To do this." She said, and kicked him in the knee. The man collapsed to the floor.  
"Argh! You'll pay for that, you bitch!" He said angrily, slapping her across the face.  
"I don't care what you do to me." Nurse Joy said, her shaky voice betraying her fear.  
"Ah, but methinks you do!" The man said. "And even if you did not, perhaps you would care if we did something to your precious Pokemon?" He said, and grabbed the struggling Chansey from under the table. No matter how hard the poor pokemon tried to escape, it failed to. In a fluid motion, he backhanded the pink victim across the face.  
"Chansey!" Nurse Joy said worriedly. "Put her down!" She said struggling to no avail.  
"No." The man answered simply, and beat the pokemon again.  
"Why are you doing this?!" She said, near tears.  
"It's fun fo' us!" Tom answered, his putrid breath curling around her neck like a venomous snake.  
"Indeed. But I get nothing out of this pathetic thing's suffering." He said, dropping the near-unconscious Chansey to the floor. "What would entertain me…Is yours." He said, drawing a silver blade from the depths of his hood. He swung it at the poor Nurse, stopping it mere inches from her neck.  
Nurse Joy was quite aware of the sharp item, it's sharp end pressing slowly into her throat. The man showed no signs of stopping.  
"LUCARIO, AURA SPHERE!" Someone yelled.  
The man spun to face the door, pulling the knife away from the nurse.  
Then there was an explosion, and the wall blew apart, several concrete chunks flying in every direction. Everyone ducked, but none hit them.  
The two thugs leered warily at the hole, wondering what moron could be dumb enough to try and attack them.  
Ash, Dawn, Misty, Brock and everyone else ran through the hole, bickering.  
"Couldn't you be a little more subtle, Adam?" Rai grumbled.  
"Oh, and your plan was SO much better then!" Adam growled angrily.  
"Well what if there was an ambush right there that was waiting to kill us when you barged in! Couldn't you have given us a bit more warning?" Rai shot back.  
"Well, I for one don't see any…am..bushes…here…" Tia trailed off, looking around the dilapidated building. The walls were peeling, the lights were shattered, there was a dark liquid on the floor…blood, perhaps? She didn't care to find out. And all the furniture and doors were destroyed. Everyone looked around wildly, taking it all in, then slowly turned to face the thugs, who were now staring at them in silent horror.  
Adam started to say something, but his mouth flailed uselessly like a goldeen, unable to find his voice.  
"Just what…." Brock said slowly, the anger rising in his voice. "Just what do you think you're doing to Nurse Joy!?"  
Lucario growled, the hackles rising on his neck as he used his aura sight to see the men's intentions…and their auras were none too pretty.  
The hooded man regained his composure first, standing up and glaring at all of them, a twisted grin on his face. "Well well well…what do we have here? A bunch of kiddies playing hero?" He sneered, the corner of his mouth twisting up as he spoke. "Sorry to ruin your little game, but you're a little out of your depth!" He said, and raised his hand, clutching the knife tightly as he prepared to throw it. Then he got smacked in the face with a brick.  
The hooded man dropped to the floor, howling in pain as he clutched his broken…well, face in general.  
"I wouldn't taunt the people carrying the very heavy concrete blocks." Prof. Twin said, tossing another brick from hand to hand.  
"…You think you can just barge in here, ruin this wonderful town, AND HURT THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES?" Ash roared, surprising everyone with his anger.

"Whut's little 'uns like yerselves gonna do 'bout it?" The ugly man said, who had never been able to shut his mouth to save his own repugnant hide.  
Everyone grinned.  
**"What are we going to do about it?"** Piplup said.** "HOW ABOUT THIS?!"** He screamed, and fired a series of super-powerful bubblebeams at the men, slamming them into a wall.  
"PIKACHU, THUNDERBOLT!" Ash commanded. The yellow rat immediately obliged and pumped over a thousand volts into the two soaking wet men, frying them to a crisp.  
"Why you little-!" The man snarled, getting up and drawing a pokeball from his belt…  
Which was instantly stolen by our favorite purple prankster, Haunter.  
**"Looking for something?"** Haunter asked, grinning ear to ear. **"Oh, maybe this?"** He said, dangling the pokeball tauntingly in front of the man's face, who pathetically grabbed for it like an infant for his bottle. Haunter pulled it out of reach. **"If you want it so badly, here, take it!"** He said, and promptly nailed the man in the face with the ball**. "Wow, you missed that? Let's try again."** Haunter said, and smacked him with the ball again.** "Wow, you're a bad catch!"** And whacked him between the eyes with the ball. Insult. Smack. Insult. Smack. This pattern continued for a while.

At the same time, both Lucario and Pikachu teamed up and started hammering the ugly man with attacks.  
**"Wow, you really are ugly, aren't you?"** Pikachu said, beating the man with an iron tail. Lucario quickly followed up with a force palm to the gut. The spikes on the jackal's hands made it all the worse. However, the man was so fat that the spikes just sank into the fat and most of it spilled out, to the Lucario's disgust and the man's pain. **"Oh, stop whining. You got free liposuction."** Lucario said, shaking his paw to free it of the goop.  
**"And that disgusting case of acne of yours needs to be burned off, and quick! I mean, how many mirror stores have you been banned from?"** Pikachu said, frying the man with another thunderbolt. The man convulsed wildly, arms flying up. Pikachu and Lucario started coughing and fanning the air.  
**"Oh Arceus, JEEZ! That stench is horrible! Ever hear of Deoderant?"** Pikachu hacked.  
"It, uh…melted when I tried to use it." The man admitted mareepishly. The duo stared at him.  
**"Odd as that sounds, I'm actually not surprised."** Lucario said. **"But I don't recommend going near campfires. Or generators. Or Barbeques. Or gas ovens. Or essentially anything that isn't a radioactive containment room so that you don't spontaneously ignite."**  
**"Is it wrong to think that his burning husk would look better than he is now?"** Pikachu asked.  
**"Is it rude? Yes. Is it also true in every way, shape or form? Also yes. Want to point and laugh at him while beating him up?"** Lucario asked.  
**"DO I?**" Pikachu answered enthusiastically. They both stuck out a finger (the index, for you dirty minded individuals) and began laughing at him as they hammered him with painful blows. The fight ended fairly soon.

All the humans had quickly ran to Joy's side, and helped her up. Brock, for once, was actually serious while around Nurse Joy.  
"Nurse Joy, are you alright?" Brock asked worriedly, as Nurse Joy stumbled to her feet.  
"I-I think so…" She stammered weakly, obviously in shock.  
"No, she isn't. She's cut!" Ash pointed out, gesturing to her collarbone.  
"Oh…" She said, coming to a realization. "When he turned around at that explosion, the knife must have cut me…"  
"It doesn't look like she's hurt too badly, though." Misty said.  
"Yeah…wait a minute, are you floating?" She said, eyes widening, and pointing to Ash. "Ok, I think I've gone delirious from blood loss."  
"No, I shattered my foot so Adam's keeping me levitated here." Ash said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  
"Hi!" Adam waved happily. Everyone sweatdropped.  
"I…see…" Nurse Joy said slowly.  
"You're not well, you need to get out of here." Dawn urged. Nurse Joy hurriedly shook her head.  
"I can't! What about Chansey? She's hurt! And Mew knows what happened to the other trainers…"  
"**I'm fine, Miss Joy!**" Chansey said happily, conspicuously not covered in bruises. **"That little girl helped me!"** She said, pointing at Mewgle. Nurse Joy was now completely confused. "But you were…and she was…and then…ARGH!" She yelled, clutching her head. "I can't think about how impossible this is right now with all of this commotion going on."  
**"I'll fix it!"** Chansey said, and chucked an egg from her pouch, which promptly exploded and blew the two goons and the pokemon away.  
"Ow…." The hooded man groaned, holding his hand to his temple. His body ached all over from the explosion, not to mention the peltings of pokeballs.  
"Gaaaargh…." The ugly man gargled, unable to speak.  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
"Huh. Well, it worked anyway." Adam said, scratching his head.  
"Wait a minute, when using Softboiled don't the pokemon EAT those eggs?" Dawn asked, confused.  
"**No, we store the eggs in two separate sections, one for eating and one for exploding. And don't worry, we don't get them mixed up. Usually."** Chansey said.  
"Ah." Dawn said.  
**"Wait, did you just understand me?"** Chansey asked in surprise.  
"How can I understand you?" Nurse Joy said at the exact same time.  
Adam sighed. This was getting ridiculous. "Long story. Can we focus on the evil goons now?"  
"Good idea." Ash said, shifting his gaze to the two twitching men…or where they used to be.  
"Hey, where'd they gooOAAAARGH!" Adam screamed, his sentence becoming incoherent due to the fact that there was now a thousand poison stings sticking out of his face. Everyone gasped.  
"Hmph! You think that we're going to go down that easily?" The hooded man sneered, an Arbok coiling around his feet.  
**"HANDS OFF MY TRAINER!"** Lucario roared, and ran at the man with a bone rush…  
And he caught it, broke it in two and bashed Lucario with both sides of the bone before kicking the poor jackal across the room.  
"Lucario!" Everyone screamed.  
"Luphmarigho!" Adam managed to force out, his face slack from the poison. "Dabthm phis phoison!" He grumbled, trying to get his face back to normal by picking out every last sting.  
"Hahaha!" The hooded man cackled. "Your poor little pokemon's all washed up!"  
"Piplup, whirlpool!" Dawn commanded the little penguin. It immediately complied, forming a large swirling torrent of water in midair and flinging it at the man.  
The ugly man promptly stepped in it's path, grunting as the water smashed into him…  
And dissolved, his foul body odor literally erasing it from existence, even though that isn't possible in any way, shape, or form. Piplup stared blankly.  
"Hur! Stupid little birdie, water doesn't do nothin' to me!"  
Pikachu fried him, sending him flying to the ground, sizzling.  
**"And yet, electricity does."** Pikachu remarked, cheeks crackling.  
"Let's get some lights in here!" Rai said, and clapped his hands. The lights flew on, and blinded the two men.  
"OH GOD, MY EYES!" Howled Brock, clutching his not-really-eyes-but-lines-that-let-him-see in pain.  
I mentioned that it also revealed the ugly guy's face in excruciating detail, didn't I? Well, now you know.  
Rai turned green. "Yeah, I think that's going to give ME nightmares."  
**"Damn you, optical nerves! DAMN YOOOUUU!**" Pikachu howled.  
"Ugh, I think I'm going to vomit…" Cress mumbled in distress.  
Taking the initiative as they were all incapacitated, the hooded man quickly recovered.  
"ACID SPRAY!" He roared, and Arbok leaned back, and hocked up a mass of green fluid, and shot a large stream of it at the heroes, burning them and lowering Pikachu, Piplup, and the unconscious Lucario's special defense.  
He quickly followed up with another heavy damage move, and Arbok leapt forward, glowing purple and yellow as it was surrounded with the nimbus of power that was giga impact.  
And then Arbok exploded.  
The hooded man blinked. Ash blinked. Dawn blinked. Misty blinked. Ash blinked.  
"What on earth just happened?" Ray asked slowly.  
"Isn't it obvious?" Mewgle scoffed. "What OBVIOUSLY just happened was that Arbok built up power for the giga impact, and ran forward, but was unable to control the move's power and accidentally ignited the stores of poison in him and.."  
"Blew up?" Ash finished. Mewgle looked at him in confusion.  
"What? No, that's silly. What happened was that because it ignited, he went through a series of painful convulsions at light speed, and the power inbalance ripped apart the fabric of space time, sending him into the future populated by vending machines which ruled reality, where he established dominance and traveled back in time to stop himself from going through this due to a plot twist not yet revealed, but ran into his double and made him explode and cease existing!" She finished proudly. Everyone stared at her wordlessly.  
"...What?" Cress asked, utterly confused.  
"Well, then you didn't hear me properly. What I said was-"  
"That's quite enough, Mewgle." Adam said.  
"But-"  
"THAT'S. QUITE. ENOUGH." Adam said loudly. Mewgle sweatdropped.  
"Helooo? Evil bad guys here?" The hooded man said irritably. "People can be so RUDE sometimes…"  
No one noticed him, as they were still either trying to process what Mewgle had just said or were thoroughly grossed out by the Arbok bits lying everywhere. Dark thoughts began brewing within his mind as he started to fume.  
'Ah ha…I know what'll get their attention!' He thought, rubbing his hands together in typical cliché-villain fashion. Then he threw another pokeball, and a Cacturne popped out.  
"Cacturne, get them back for pummeling us with payback!" He roared.  
The cactus responded quickly, and set it's fists ablaze with dark energy, then ran forward at the unassuming party of bickering heroes.  
Ash sensed something move behind him, and (with some difficulty) turned around to the pleasant sight of a sneering giant cactus with dark flaming fists preparing to bash his face in.  
Starting, Ash didn't even have time to cry out, and instead took the opportunity to grab the nearest hands to him (Misty's and Rai's) and yank them out of the way, using her momentum to yank himself out of the way. Quick thinking for our somewhat…dense hero.  
Adam blinked sluggishly and looked up where he had been cradling his face in his hands just in time to receive a painful dark-type blow, coming quite close to breaking his nose and blowing everyone away with a ripple of black energy. Mewgle, Prof. Twin, Cress, and Adam screeched, writhing about as the black energy enveloped them. Ash suddenly dropped to the ground, his psychic hold breaking. Brock, Dawn, and Ray just flinched and were hardly able to keep foot on the ground. Pikachu, Piplup and Haunter (who had been trying to intercept the cactus) passed out. Misty and Rai were unaffected.  
"GWAHAHAHAHA!" The hooded man cackled. "YOU FOOLS, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU MESS WITH US!"  
"And..urgh…what happens when someone stronger than you messes with you?" Prof. Twin rasped.  
"Oh, tha's eysey. We lose." The ugly man said. The hooded man slapped him. "Shut up, you imbecile!"  
"Hah…you guys might outclass team rocket at being incompetent." Brock chimed in.  
There was a brief spell of silence before everyone burst out laughing.  
"Hahaha! Good one, Brocko!" Ray cried, slapping Brock on the back and knocking him into the ground.  
"More incompetent than team rocket…oh god, can't breathe…can't stop laughing…" Ash choked out, tears forming at the corners of his eyes from the intensity of the laughter. Then he passed out from the pain of falling on his leg.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

James blinked. "Do any of you guys suddenly feel insulted?" He asked, scratching his head.  
"Huh, now that you mention it, I feel a bit offended…" Jessie responded, equally confused.  
"I wonder why…" Meowth pondered.

"Hm…." They all said in union as their tiny minds churned frantically to churn out an answer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

"…HELLO?! EVIL BAD GUYS?!" The hooded man shouted, tired of being ignored for what was the millionth time. "Oh for the Hall of Origin's sake…Cacturne, Venoshock!"  
The cacturne growled obligingly and spat out a disgusting green fluid, which would all but finish off the group in their current state.  
That is, if it didn't stop in it's tracks and swing right back at the attacker, drenching it in foul smelling green fluid which instantly began bubbling on contact, dealing super effective damage and knocking out the grass-dark type.  
"What!?" The hooded man asked incredulously.  
"Ha ha! Great job, chingling!" Came a young cry. The hooded man, whirled around, trying to locate the source of the voice.  
What came into light was a young child wearing a red shirt with the words "What's up with Chu?" emblazoned in yellow on it, basketball shorts, bluish hair and typical running shoes. A small clump of hair obscured a hazel eye slightly.  
"What do you think you're doing?" The hooded man asked angrily.  
"I should be the one asking that, considering that you broke into my town, kidnapped everyone and nearly killed dad!" The boy shot back.  
**"Yeah!**" The chingling pitched in.  
The man looked back from the kid to the recovering group, and back again, calculating his chances. He was in a bad position right now…what could he do?  
Then a devilish and malicious idea came to him. Before anyone could move, he grabbed the unconscious Ash by the collar of his shirt and brought his knife to Ash's neck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

She narrowed her eyes, something was wrong

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

"Make a move and the kid gets it." He said, grinning eevily.  
"No,…Ash!" Misty coughed weakly. Rai balled his fists, and started backing unnoticed into the shadows.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Something was very, very wrong, she couldn't let it happen

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You wouldn't." The boy hissed.  
"Oh, wouldn't I? Ask your dad on that one, kiddo. Now, back off and I'll only give him a flesh wound." The man said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was him, he was in danger, she couldn't let it happen, she had to get him away at any cost

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

"You…you…" The boy started, apparently unable to find words to express the disgust he felt for this man.  
"Me. Now, back OFF!" He roared, and pressed the knife against Ash's neck.

She shot at the building where he was faster than the eye could see, lashing out mentally at the walls

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

*crick!*  
The boy's ears perked up. "What was that?"  
*crick!*

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

It was right there, she was so close, all she needed to do was hit it-  
There.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

The walls suddenly burst apart, and an unearthly mist spewed in. The hooded man flinched, feeling a sudden drop in energy.  
_**"GET AWAY FROM HIM!**_" A female, oddly draconic voice roared telepathically.  
"Huh?" The hooded man asked, before he was suddenly blown away and bashed into the wall at full speed. The mist seemed to ripple for a moment, glowed, and a light green light surrounded the party of heroes and their pokemon. A moment later, everyone was back on their feet, and very confused about what was going on.  
"Huh? Wha…" Ash mumbled drowsily.  
The mist thinned, revealing the murky silhouette of a creature shaped somewhat like a miniature jet plane hovering in front of Ash.  
"Who's there!" The man shouted.  
The mist parted obligingly, revealing the creature in question. It had red, jet like wings and stubby feet that somewhat resembled the bottom wings on a plane. A blue triangle shone slightly on it's white fur. A bright red pentagon over it's white face covered yellow, almond shaped eyes. Two large white ears stuck up from the sides of it's head. Small red and white arms ended in three small claws.  
Misty, Ash, and Brock balked in surprise.  
"L-Latias?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

End of chapter. Woo!


End file.
